I can live without you
by bk2817
Summary: James post Hogwarts. Since Lily broke up with him, James has spent a long time getting over her. But what can he do when a certain redhead suddenly comes back into his life and with a baby. Reposted and rewritten.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: You know the drill!

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"Good morning." came a seductive voice to James' ear. "Ready for another round, sexy?"

"Actually, I'm pretty tired and I have to go to work in like…" He looked at his alarmer "… half an hour. And I've gotta take a shower and stuff. Why don't you just go home and I'll call you later this afternoon."

"Uhmm, okay. So you will call me later? There have been times when you've said that you would call me but then you didn't and I don't really feel like waiting by the phone for an entire night again" Courtney said.  
Instead of answering James simply kissed the tip of her nose and got out of bed.  
Courtney, one of James' many, many lovers was an 18 year old secretary at the Auror office at the Ministry of Magic.

She was positive that she and James were meant to be together, even if he didn't know it himself. Courtney was a girl hopelessly in love.

She blew him a kiss as she gathered her clothes and apparated out of James' apartment. The second she disapparated, the bedroom door flung open and Sirius Black appeared in the doorway.

"So, did she leave already?" He asked

"Yeah, finally" James sighed

"Merlin! I thought she'd never leave, Courtney's like a small motherless puppy. If you give her too much love and attention, she won't leave you alone." He frowned.

"It's rather annoying actually." James answered in victimely manner.

Sirius smirked at that last comment. "I told you not to work late at the office that night. And I actually remember someone telling you not to get so close to your assistant." He said nonchalantly.

"Well technically she's not my personal assistant, that's Daisy, who I have yet to seal the deal with by the way."

"Respect" Sirius said while giving James a fistbump

"But I know, I know. I just…- Hey, Remus said that, not you!" James answered.

"Oh, really? Are you sure?" Sirius asked while scratching his head.

"Yes, I am. But that's beside the point. You have to help me find a way to, you know, cut her out of my life."

That answer made Sirius think for a moment. "Well, what if… " He paused, "…what if you told her you were gay or something?"

"Sirius! Are you completely off your rocker? She knows I'm not gay, I've shown her that in more than one way…" He trailed off.

"To me that's the best idea so far. I mean, she wirks at the same place you do so you can't really cut her out of your life, it's not like you can fire her." Sirius shrugged grabbing a Quidditch magazine of the night stand and started looking through the pages.

"Sirius," He said calmly "It's the only idea so far." When Sirius didn't answer James got impatient. "Come on! There has to be a way! Think!"

"I still think you should just tell her you're a-" Sirius didn't get a chance to finish the sentence as James blew up.

"I am NOT going to pretend I'm gay. I'm serious here Padfoot!"  
"Well actually. _I –"  
_  
This time the alarm clock was heading his way through the air. The clock suddenly stopped in mid air.

"Don't be mean, James." Sirius said calmly while lowering his wand, still reading the quidditch article.

"I am not in the mood for your Sirius-serious jokes right now." James said and dropped his head on the pillows on the bed.

"Fine, fine. Some other time then." Sirius shrugged "Hey, weren't you supposed to meet early today for that meeting with Moody?"

"Yeah, why?" James' mumbled voice answered underneath the pillows.  
"'Cause your alarmer says 8:07"

"WHAT?" James shot up from the bed "FUCK! Moody'll kill me!" He shouted as he ran around the bedroom gathering his clothes.

"Well, I'm gonna take off now. I have to go to work in…" He checked the time "…O-oh, 48 minutes ago. They're soooo gonna kill me over there. See you later mate." And he apparated out of James' apartment just like Courtney had done earlier.

"Moody's gonna kill me, Moody's gonna kill me." James sang to himself as he dressed quickly and apparated to the Ministry.

Alastor Moody sat in his comfortable chair at the Auror office with his feet on top of his desk. '11 minutes late,' He thought to himself as he saw Potter rush into the office out of the back of his neck.

"Late again are we Potter?"

"I'm sorry sir. I had an emergency. Or well, you know, my friend had one and I had to help him." James lied.

"Very well then." Moody seemed to buy that. "The reason for why I called you for this meeting is because I have a proposition for you…" He trailed off and looked at James to see if he was paying attention.

Which he was. Nearly.  
"… Do you know anything about the army Dumbledore founded?"

James looked at his boss sceptically "The Order of the Phoenix ?"

Moody's face turned into something that James could only take as a smile. "Yes, indeed. The Order of the Phoenix ." His smile suddenly faded "Do you know what the Order does Potter?"

"Captures Death Eaters and sticks them into Azkaban?" James guessed.

"It's not all that easy son. But yes, that's mainly what the Order does." Moody leaned back in his chair.

After about a minute James broke the silence "Sir, may I ask why you're asking me these questions?"

"Yes, Potter you may. I got this letter-" He reached for one of the drawers on his desk, drew up a letter and handed it to James. "- a month ago from Dumbledore. It's about you, Potter. Go on read it. He nodded towards the letter.

James read and while he read more his eyes grew bigger.

After a few minutes, James looked up at Moody his eyes as big as saucers behind his glasses.

"Yes, I had that same face after I first read it." Moody agreed. "But I've been watching your work for the past month and I agree with Dumbledore that you're the wizard for the task.

And by saying that. I'm looking aside the fact that you're never on time. But you are the best Auror here. I trained you very well if I say so myself."

"Wow, I'm so flattered and honoured that Dumbledore wants me to…" He didn't get to finish as Moody interrupted him.

"Of course, you'll be receiving further training. Very intense training. You'll be saying goodbye to your social life for at least the next four months or so." He said seriously.

"I understand." James answered thoughtfully.

"This is a very serious commitment James,-" James looked up at Moody, he had never called him by his first name before. "- you could actually end up dead in this. You'd be risking your life for this. So I want you to think very thoroughly about it and give me an answer en Friday. You're dismissed Potter."  
James thanked Moody, handed him back the letter and left Moody's office.

He tried to concentrate the rest of the day but left work early saying he had family coming over.  
James walked from the Ministry home, when he got there after walking for quite a while sent owls to the Maurauders saying that he needed to talk to them about something important.  
He watched the three owls disappear into the sky and threw himself on the sofa. He looked around his apartment. It wasn't big, but it wasn't small either. The kitchen opened into the living room, through the living room you could walk into the guest bedroom, which James used as his office since his guests never slept there unless it was in his bed.  
Next to the guest bedroom/office was James' bedroom, the bathroom opened both into the living room and into the bedroom.  
James liked his flat, it was very him. Very neat but at the same time messy. Complicated and yet very simple.

'Oh man, I could really do with a beer right now' James thought and released a deep breath. He stood up, went into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator door and discovered that the only thing in that fridge was a milk bottle way past its due date. It actually looked like something had starting living in the bottle.  
"Man, I really have to buy some food." He said to himself, so he grabbed his keys and thought 'I might as well do it now, 'got nothing better to do'

He closed the door, locked it and ran down the stairs.

As James was walking in the autumn breeze, a leaf fell and landed right on his nose. He looked at the leaf and felt as bunch of feelings ran through his insides. He couldn't tell if they were good or bad, only that they were very familiar. The yellow leaf reminded him of the girl who had broken his heart a long time ago. To be more specific one year, three months and seventeen days.

Lily Evans. Yes, Lily Evans had indeed broken James' heart. He had been desperately trying to forget about her for the longest time. In fact he hadn't thought about her in a long time until now.  
Stupid leaf. The leaf reminded him about their first date. The most wonderful night of his life…

_-Flashback- _

_The wind was blowing the leaves of the trees on a beautiful September evening, the sun was just about to set and the sky was pink.  
A couple was sitting on a blanket next to the lake at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry watching the sunset.  
_  
_"Well Potter, this is shaping up to be a pretty good date." Lily Evans smiled sweetly at the boy sitting next to her.  
_  
_"Duuh, I told you, you'd enjoy it. As a matter of fact you could have saved me up a lot of time, energy and not to mention gallions if you'd just agreed to go out with me the first time I asked you" James answered and got hit on the shoulder by Lily quite hard for a girl.  
_  
_"You always did so romantically" She answered sarcastically.  
_  
_"Yeah I know" James nodded, not quite catching the sarcasm.  
_  
_"Wanker" Lily said as she pushed him so he fell on his side.  
_  
_"Hey! That's not nice!" He shouted as he attacked Lily. They rolled around until James finally got the control and sat on top of her.  
_  
_"Ah yes. I have you at my mercy" He cheered  
_  
_"Get off of me James!" Lily shrieked  
_  
_"Did you just call me James?" He asked surprised  
_  
_"Well, that is your name is it not? Oh so mighty lord"  
_  
_"Well, yeah. But… Yes. Yes it is" James rolled off of her smiling.  
_  
_They just laid next to each other in silence for a few minutes enjoying each others company.  
_  
_"Lily-" James rolled over and looked into her eyes "-I really, really like you. I have for a long time now actually, although it hasn't always seemed that way-" He said the last part blushing "-And I would really like for this to work out. I've matured a lot since the end of fifth year.  
_  
_I'm not still the arrogant, selfish, spoiled brat I used to be. Honest, Lily. Will you give me the honour of going out with me again sometime?"  
_  
_Lily had had a smile on her face the entire time James had been trying to get out the words.  
_  
_She looked at him for a moment and nodded and as she opened her mouth to answer, a yellow leaf fell from a tree and landed right on James' nose.  
_  
_Lily slowly took the leaf and handed it to James smiling. "I like you a lot to. And yes I would love to go on another date with you."  
_  
_She then leaned in, James got the message and leaned in as well._  
_The moment they touched each others lips it felt like everything just fell into place and he knew Lily felt that way too. They lay there, one hand holding onto the little yellow leaf, James' other hand tangled up in her hair and Lily's other hand on the back of his neck.  
_  
_The wonderful feeling of something he couldn't quite explain rushed through his stomach. He never wanted to let her go.  
_  
_James knew at that moment that she was the one. _

_-End Flashback- _

He missed Lily. A lot. 'I wonder what she's doing now' James thought to himself. She's probably married, pregnant with a house. He chuckled, on a second thought no. She was probably the president of some big company. 'Now that's sounds more like Lily' He smiled.

James grabbed a basket and headed towards the beverage section and grabbed a couple of beer bottles and put in the basket.

Next he went to the sweets section and started taking everything he could grab and threw it in the basket "If I'm going to be sent away to training I might as well start living a little." He said quietly to himself smiling.

"Excuse me?" He could hear a woman's voice behind his back. "Were you saying something?"

James turned and the first thing he saw a pair of very familiar eyes. The emerald green eyes he had fallen in love with.

Everything froze. He looked at the person standing in front of him. Lily Evans. The love of his life. The woman he had spent a year getting over and forgetting, was standing there in front of him looking more beautiful than ever.

Her wavy auburn hair hung down to her chest. Her curvy body looking so, so amazing. Lily had always been curvy. Around 5,7 ft tall. Large hips, average waist. Good breasts, although they looked larger than the last time James had seen her 'I wonder if she had one of those breast implants' He thought.

"Hello James." James was snapped out of his thoughts when Lily spoke up.

He opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it again when he heard something that did definitely not come out of Lily's mouth.

"Bleergh" Came out from Lily's cart.

James' eyes grew for the second time that day about three sizes. The sound from her cart was coming from something with large green eyes and a lot of black hair with a pink bow in it.  
It was a baby.

A Baby.

Lily's baby.

Everything went blurry before James' eyes and then he just saw black.

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So, that's the rewrite of the first chapter of my old fanfiction _I can live without you _which I started to neglect in the beginning of last year. But this story shall suffer no more neglecting, I have decided to carry on with it. So please leave a review or a cake, I'm a sucker for cakes, and tell me what you think. The next chapter will be arriving shortly, promise!


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: You know the drill!_

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_

"James? JAMES?" Lily yelled out "James! Wake up!" He felt a slap on his cheek

"Oww!" James rubbed the spot where she had slapped him "Are you bloody mad woman?"

"Well it worked didn't it?" She smirked as she helped him on his feet

"God, you're bleeding!"

James was indeed bleeding. When he passed out his head had landed right into one of the shelves and given him a cut on the side of his head.

He flinched as Lily tried to stop the bleeding with her fingers.

"It looks pretty bad, come on. We're going to my place, it's not far from here."

"No, I'm fine. You really don't have to." James answered but the second he closed his mouth he lost his balance and fell once more.

"That's it-"Lily grabbed him by the arm "-you're coming with me."

He knew there was no use fighting with her. Besides, he really wanted to know why she had a baby in her cart, who seemed to have fallen asleep when he blacked out.

"Okay then"

Lily smiled "Good, follow me"

She took the baby girl out of the cart and made her way out of the supermarket. Pretty soon she stopped beside a car in the parking lot.

"Uuhm, what's that?" James asked warily

"This is my car, James" She answered as she was fastening the seatbelt on the little girl in the backseat. "Go on, take a seat"

"Why?"

"Because I say so. Now take a seat on the passenger side in the front."

His head was in too much pain to object so he took a seat in the thing Lily called "car" and decided to ask her some other time why she didn't just apparate

"I thought you said you lived nearby" James exclaimed after about ten minutes of a rather awkward silence

"I lied" She answered nonchalantly

He decided not to say anything back and again they sat in silence for a couple of minutes until Lily pulled over in front of a tall building.

"We live on the 5th floor." She told James.

"We?" He inquired but Lily either didn't hear him or pretended that she didn't.

She stepped out of the car, took the still sleeping baby and pointed James to follow her with her free hand.

He sighed and followed 'What I am doing? Why am I going home with her? Am I mad? Well yeah, I'm talking to myself but still! I have to find an excuse to leave'

"Eh, Lily?" He said after they had walked up a few staircases

"Yes?" Lily turned around.

"I'm really fine. I think it would be better if I just left okay?"

"No. You're not fine James. Look I'm a Healer okay. I know what I'm doing."

She walked up some more stairs.

Suddenly she stopped in front of a door. "Here we are. Can you hold her while I find my keys in the bag?" She asked and handed James the little girl, who was still asleep

James took the girl without any objections.

'Wow, this baby looks oddly familiar. Green eyes, which she probably got from Lily. But I can't figure out the black hair. Maybe-' His thoughts were interrupted when Lily opened the door and took the baby back.

"Come on in, I'm just gonna put her down in the bedroom. Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back'

James took a seat on the sofa and looked around. It didn't look like a big apartment. He could see into the kitchen from where he sat, next to the kitchen was a door presumably the bathroom and the bedroom where Lily had gone.

There were toys all around and James thought to himself that he had to ask her about that baby she was dragging around with her. Surely it wasn't hers. Or was it?

His thoughts were interrupted when Lily came into the living room.

"Hold on, I'm just gonna get some stitches so I can-"

"Lily, we need to talk." James interrupted

"Okay, we'll talk after I've stitched you-"

"No, sit down." He took her by the shoulders and led her down on the sofa.

"James-"

"Wait, let me go first." James interrupted her.

'I was afraid of that' Lily thought and sighed

"First of all. Whose is it?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know. That!" He pointed at the bedroom door.

"She, James, not "that" and _she_-" Lily took a breath "-is my daughter."

"What! I thought she was like a kid you were just baby sitting or something. How old is she? Are you involved with someone now? Is that guy the father?!"

"James, James. Calm down. Yes, she is my daughter and her name is Anna, actually it's Annabelle Dante. She was born on December 12th so she's a little over ten months old. No, I'm not in a relationship with the father and you don't know him." She explained to him calmly.

He sat still for a while not saying a word.

"Can I ask you one thing?" James asked her suddenly

"Yeah, of course. What?"

"What were you thinking when you named her Dante?" He asked her laughing

"Oh shut up! I like the name and for your information Dante means everlasting in Latin. I first saw the name when I was pregnant and it really touched me."

"Still Lily, you can't name your child Dante. What did her father say when he first found out you named her that?" He asked having fits of laughter

"He reacted the exact same way you did" She answered giggling.

"Ha ha! Oh, Merlin!" Now he was rolling around in the sofa laughing

"Shh, you'll wake her up!" She hissed slightly laughing at him.

All of the sudden he grabbed her, dragged her to him and starting tickling her all over.

"It's funny how I always win in this."

"Shut up you brat" She shrieked, trying to push him off of her.

"Never!" He exclaimed triumphantly

"No?" Lily smirked "What if I do this?" She kicked him in the back with her knee.

"Owww!" James fell on the floor "What happened to you begging?" He asked rubbing his back.

"Well-" She was interrupted when crying came from the bedroom. "I told you you'd wake her up. I'll be right back." She said as she stood up.

"Yeah" He exhaled

'Wow, she is so beautiful' He thought to himself as he watched her come back with Anna in her arms.

"Anna, this is James. Can you say hello to James?" Lily sat down on the couch with Anna in her lap.

Anna reached out and grabbed handful of James' hair with one hand and with the other she took his glasses and tried to stick them into her mouth.

"No Anna."

"It's fine Lily" James smiled and carefully took back his glasses with a surprising amount of drool on them.

"Bwahgh" The baby reached out and tried to take the glasses again.

"I'm gonna find something for her to eat. Can you hold her for a minute?" Lily handed him Anna and hurried into the kitchen.

"Hello, hello." James said while poking her in the belly.

"Can you tell me how big you are? Can you?"

The baby stared at him with huge green eyes and a toothless smile.

He chuckled "Guess not then"

James tickled and talked to the little girl and after a short while he got her to say "Jaimm"

Pretty soon Lily came back with a bowl with cut bananas in and put on the coffee table.

"Is it fun playing with James, Anna? She asked her little daughter as she gave her a piece of banana.

And then suddenly something popped up in James' mind

"Lily?"

"Mm?"

"Did you name her Annabelle after my mother?"

Lily looked at him and smiled "Yes I did. She really helped me during the pregnancy and she was actually the one who delivered her"

"What? Why didn't she tell me!"

"She wanted to but I asked her not to."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I didn't want to answer all of your questions" He sensed that she was getting a little irritated by him so he decided to lay of it.

They sat in silence while Anna ate her banana and occasionally made slurping and drooling sounds.

"There is a reason why I didn't want you to know about her. Maybe someday I'll tell you, but not now. It's not time yet."

James was startled but nodded "Okay."

They gazed into each others eyes for the longest time with Anna between them playing with a teddy bear while drooling all over it.

"But can I ask you one thing?" He asked Lily all of the sudden

"Depends on what it is" She smiled back at him

"Who is Anna's father?"

Lily looked away but James moved his hand up to her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes.

"I really want to know."

"James, you don't. Believe me."

"Lily, please." He begged her.

"Okay. He…"

She didn't get to finish the sentence because there was a cracking sound and all of the sudden a man appeared in the room.

"Where's my little princess?" He smiled but the smile faded away when he saw Lily and James sitting on the couch with Anna between them.

The little girl's face brightened up and she started clapping her hands together "Swiii! Swiiii!"

James looked from the baby to the man who had just apparated into the room and felt dizzy for the second time that day.

The man in the doorway was none other than Sirius Black.

It all made sense.

Anna had jet black hair like Sirius.

Sirius was Anna's father.

And for the second time that day everything went blurry and pretty soon black.

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_A/N: Hello, hello! Well, I hope you liked this one, and not to mention the first one! Please do review, it's such an encouragement and motivation! So whatever you have to say, please do say it.  
The more I'm motivated the more chapters will come earlier and the juicier the content will be, hehe till next time.  
-BK_


	3. Chapter 3

Wow, people clearly didn't like the ending of the last chapter, well here is a hint, you're in for a pleasant surprise!  
Disclaimer: You know the drill!

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"What is he doing here Lily?" Sirius whispered after dragging James' limp body into the bedroom and onto the bed.

"I ran into him at the market and he fell so I invited him up here so I could fix it." She answered him trying not to meet his eyes.

"Do you know what this is?" Sirius sighed and asked dragging a stick out of his pocket

"Your wand?"

"Correct, do you not own one just like mine?"

"Yes…"

"Then why didn't you use it?!"

"Sirius, relax. I didn't think of it at the time, I am Muggleborn you know" She explained as she rubbed his shoulders

"Don't you see? He's gonna hate me now."

"Why? It's not like we're together or anything. The only reason you're here is because of Anna"

"I know, but he doesn't" He answered pointing at James' limp body on the bed. "He probably thinks we're in relationship and that Anna's our daughter. Can't you see Lily? When he wakes up the first thing he'll do is attack me."

"Sirius, that's nonsense."

The second she finished her sentence Sirius got hit by something huge. To be accurate it was James.

"How could you?! When did this happen?! Why was I kept in the dark about this?!" He screamed on top of Sirius, his wand sticking in Sirius' throat.

"James, calm down. If you'll just relax then we'll tell you everything. But now you have to get off Sirius and let me take care of the new cut."

The second time James had had a blackout that day he had fallen on the corner of the coffee table and gotten a rather nasty cut, worse than the one before.

"Yes, James-" Sirius agreed "- you're bleeding all over me here mate."

James got off Sirius and sat down on the bed.

"It's just, you know. My best friend and my ex-girlfriend. This is just so overwhelming."

"Wait, No, no. You've got is all wrong. Lily and I are not together-" Sirius started saying but Lily quickly interrupted.

"-Anymore."

Both James and Sirius seemed surprised by what Lily said "What?" They asked at the same time.

"Yes, Sirius. Don't you think James has the right to know the truth?" She asked him, giving him a look

"Yes?" He answered uncertainly

"Wait, what?" James was getting confused "When were you two together?" He asked

"The summer after Hogwarts" "Uhm, last summer" They said at the same time.

"Sorry?"

"Well, you know…" Lily mumbled

"No, actually I don't" James said slowly

"Well, this has been a treat. Really, it's too bad that I have to leave. But you know, have to go get Remus and Peter, can't do this without them, now can we?"

"Siri-" Lily didn't get to finish er sentence as he apparated out of the apartment.

"Care to explain, Lily?"

"Okay, you better sit down for this." She pointed at the couch and James took a seat.

"For starters, I never planned on hurting you James, that's why I never told you about Anna."

"Lily, just please tell me what's going on"

"All right the thing is-"

"Wait, how old did you say Anna is?" James suddenly asked

"She's ten months old, why?" Lily answered a little surprised

"Which means you had her seven months after Hogwarts, yeah?"

"Yes, which brings me back to my point. I-"

James interrupted again this time angrier than earlier "Were you and Sirius having an affair when you and I were dating?"

Lily was about to open her mouth when three people apparated into the apartment.

Those three people were Sirius, Remus, and none other than Courtney Handel, the very girl who James had spent the previous night with.

"James!" Courtney shrieked "I've missed you so much" She exclaimed kissing him all over his face.

Lily looked at the pair disgusted. "And you are?"

Courtney quickly stopped and it didn't take James a long time to push her off of him.

"I'm James' girlfriend," She answered coolly ruffling his hair "Courtney Handel. Who are you?"

"Lily Evans, pleased to meet you" Lily tried to be polite and put out her hand to Courtney.

Courtney looked at the hand and simply answered "Yah" And then turned to James "Oh, my god! I had the weirdest day, everyone was talking about some big-" James panicked and quickly kissed her square on the mouth.

While all this had happened Sirius had set down on the floor playing with the little girl and Remus and Sirius exchanged looks and then Remus sat down next to him and joined him and Anna in their game.

As Courtney and James' kiss became deeper Lily stood up from her seat, picked Anna up from the floor and smacked the bedroom door after them.

James then pushed Courtney off of him for the second time. "I think you should leave, Courtney"

"You promised me this morning that you'd call. Why didn't you?"

"Courtney, would you please leave?"

"James! Answer my question!" She demanded

James looked over at Sirius, who had a glint in his eye, stood up while nodding his head.

James was now getting quite panicky 'Should I do it? I mean, it's the only way to get rid of her. Fuck.'

"Courtney," Sirius started standing right next to his best friend and putting his arm around his shoulder "yours and James' relationship has to end."

The blonde girl on the sofa looked surprised "Why?"

"Because dear. He and Remus are dating." Sirius said lovingly stroking her cheek.

At that moment everything went quiet.

Courtney quickly went red, next green and after that pink into dark purple.

Lily had come out of the bedroom just in time to hear the Sirius' last sentence and had to clasp her hand over her mouth, trying to hold her laughter in.

The confused Remus went pale and looked like he wanted to vomit and James tried to keep calm but you could clearly see that he was not okay with Sirius' idea of getting Courtney out of his ex-girlfriend's apartment.

Sirius on the other hand had a very funny look on his face as though he was really proud of himself. Which he was, of course.

Courtney was the first one to speak up.

"What?!"

When no one dared to answer her she turned over to James with a deadly glint in her eyes.

"James?"

When he realized that Courtney was talking to him he quickly leaned back, pulled up the still sitting Remus and put is arm around his shoulder while trying to keep his cool.

"I'm sorry, but it's true. I didn't know how to tell you, I'm sorry."

With that Courtney turned even more purple than before, which actually should be humanly impossible but that's beside the point.

"You know what, James. You and your pale looking boyfriend can just enjoy your life together! I'm leaving!"

She grabbed her purse and headed for the front door.

"And don't even think of calling me ever again!"

With that she slammed the door. Remus was the first one to speak.

"Well, that was… interesting. I almost-"

In the middle of his sentence the door got busted open again. It was Courtney. Again.

"I forgot my jacket." She said simply when all four people in the living room looked astounded at her.

"Oh and James," She continued when she had taken her jacket of the sofa. "I quit!"

Then she finally apparated away.

James and Sirius exchanged glances and burst out in fits of laughter at the same time quickly followed by Remus and Lily finally.

After several minutes of laughter they all sat in silence until the baby started crying in the bedroom.

"I'll go" Sirius said quickly and stood up. At that moment James looked over at Lily who had been looking over at him as well but quickly turned away as his eyes met hers and followed Sirius into the bedroom without uttering a word, closing the door behind her.

Sitting beside James in the sofa, Remus spoke "Well. As exciting as it has been being your lover, James. I think I'm gonna head off home." He said winking at James.

"Wait a sec, Remus. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"Did you know about Anna? I mean, did you know that Lily had her?"

Remus kept quiet for a while. "Yes I did. I know you must be mad at me for not telling you-" He added when James was about to open his mouth "-but Sirius and I ran into Lily in Diagon Alley while she was pregnant."

"Why didn't you tell me? Aren't we supposed to be best friends?" James answered not too calmly.

"We wanted to, really. But, Lily begged us not to."

"Wait. Sirius didn't know about Lily's pregnancy? Lily didn't tell him?"

"No. Why?" Remus asked surprised.

"Perhaps because he's the father of her child?" James nodded

"What? Sirius? And Lily? Hah, I don't think so." Remus chuckled in response.

"But, but…"

"But what?"

"But Lily said-"

"She told you that Sirius is Anna's father?" Remus sat up a little straighter, looking oddly at James.

"Uhm," 'Did she say that Sirius was Anna's father, wait.' James thought to himself. 'What did she say again? Fuck!'

"James?"

"Huh?" He snapped out of his thoughts.

"Did Lily say that Sirius is Anna's father?"

"I… I uhm , I can't remember." James shook his head.

With that Remus looked over at James, stood up while patting him on the shoulder.

"Well, I'm out mate. Tell the guys a said good night." He blinked.

"Yeah, of course. See you later." James answered looking intently at the bedroom door.

"Oh, and James?" James looked at Remus once again. "Talk to Lily, get things sorted out. All right?"

He smiled to his friend "Yeah, I will. Thanks mate."

Remus nodded friendly and apparated out of the apartment.

After a while James stood up and headed for the bedroom door. He grabbed the handle and opened the door slowly but quickly stopped when he heard Sirius and Lily talking.

"She looks so peaceful when she's asleep." James heard Sirius say

"I know. God, I'm so lucky to have her. She's my whole world." Lily said in return.

'Wait, why didn't she say "we are so lucky"?' James thought to himself

"Yes, you are." Sirius agreed.

'What?' James was now grasping the doorknob tightly.

"When are you going to tell him?" He now heard Sirius ask which made him push his ear harder to the door.

"I don't know Sirius."

"I can't say that I'm entirely comfortable with my best friend thinking, like you told me earlier, that we were having an affair when you two were dating in Hogwarts. Actually I hate the fact that he even thinks that we've ever been a couple. James must feel so betrayed right now."

"What am I supposed to tell him?" Lily was now getting a little worked up.

"I don't know… What about the truth?"

"Yeah. Of course, I'll just walk up to him and say "Oh, and by the way James. Annabelle's your daughter. Not Sirius' " Then he'll hate me!" Lily hissed ironically

"Keep it down, you'll wake Anna. Lily, he's already pretty pissed off at you for not telling him that you had a baby in the first place."

"I don't know how to tell him that Anna is his daughter. I just don't know how to-"She couldn't finisher sentence as her voice cracked and she started sobbing in Sirius' arms.

James still stood there feeling the same dizziness he had twice earlier that day.

Anna was his.

She was his daughter, not Sirius'.

Lily and his best friend hadn't had an affair back in school.

He had never felt this happy and this nauseous at the same time.

Everything now changed to slow motion and he couldn't feel his feet anymore.

He lost his balance and realized that he had thrown the door open and was on his way down flat on his face but he didn't care. In some unexplicable way he couldn't wait until he'd be waken up by Lily sitting by his side.

There was a large thump and James lay on the floor unconscious once again.

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Tell me what you thought of it please :)


	4. Chapter 4

A small glimpse of light coming from a lamp on the bedside table was the only thing James saw when he finally regained his consciousness. 'Where the hell am I this time?' He thought to himself as he tried to sit up in what appeared to be a bed, but knocked his head once more into the shelf that was above the bed and a small whimper escaped from his lips.

"Awake are we?" He could hear Sirius' amused voice next to him.

"Mwff" Was the only response he got from James who tried to keep his cool, biting his tongue.

"Hurt that bad, eh?" Sirius grin grew wider.

"Shut up will you?" James answered giving his best friend a small smile.

"Sorry mate, but that looked just so painfully hilarious" Sirius chuckled.

Pretty soon they both started laughing very loudly until they eventually awoke the small girl dreaming peacefully in her little cradle.

"I'll get her." Sirius stood up, picked Anna up from the cradle and took a seat in the chair he had just risen from.

After a few minutes silence Sirius finally said "You know, she's always talking about you."

"Who?" James had dazed out for a moment, watching the girl. His daughter. Slowly fall asleep in his friend's arms.

"Lily. You can't imagine the guilt she's felt the last year and a half."

"Mm" He just answered. 'How can I answer that? What can I say? "Oh that's fine, I don't really mind that she kept from me that I have a daughter for a year and a half… I'm fine with it" I can't say that. Or can I? I s that the truth? Do I mind? What I'm thinking? Of course I mind! What was she thinking not telling me! I mean-'

"James?"

James jumped up startled. "Yeah?"

"Heh, you just haven't said anything for a while. Something the matter?"

"How can you ask me that Sirius? Of course there's something the matter! Firstly I find out that my ex-girlfriend was pregnant while I was dating her, she didn't tell me about but instead she decides just to break up with me and have the baby on her own. But wait, no. She doesn't have the baby on her own now does she? No. She takes me three best friends in it with her and forbids them to tell me anything. Instead she gets my mother to deliver the baby who apparently is a girl and lets her have a relationship with the baby! Didn't she forget something? Oh yeah, the small matter, like telling the father! Isn't that what most girls do! Fuck Sirius! Of course there's something the matter!" James hissed trying not to wake up the baby

"James, come on! First of all. Don't say F-C-U-K in front of the baby! Second. What are you yelling at me for? Isn't it Lily you're mad at?"

'He's right. I am mad at Lily. I'm so mad that I could spend the rest of the night just screaming at her.'

"Yes, I am! Where is she?"

"Well. She went out. To think, I think." He said hesitantly

James was about to open his mouth and do some more yelling when Sirius quickly put his free hand over his mouth. "Don't, save it for Lily. Plus Anna hasn't quite had a good night's sleep today… tonight. You know what I mean." He shook his head dumbly.

James released a very deep breath and stared into the wall so intently that holes were almost bored into it. Well, not quite, but you catch the point. "Yeah, I'm gonna go out for a walk. I'll be back in fifteen minutes. Okay?"

"Yeah, sure mate. Cool off a bit yeh?"

James nodded, stood up, and prepared to apparate out of the apartment "Oh, and by the way. The word "Fuck" is spelled F-U-C-K not F-C-U-K. He gave a wink to Sirius and apparated out.

"What's the difference?" Was the last thing he heard before he left.

With a blink of an eye he was out on the street in front of the twelve story building, central London. This was of course incredibly stupid, since he was in a muggle neighbourhood. But that was far from James' thoughts.

After he had walked for about what seemed like a lifetime James got to a park and took a seat on a bench nearby.

'Why am I this angry?' He asked himself mentally 'Why did I yell at Sirius? It's not like it's his fault. And I kind of understand why Lily didn't tell me. It's not like I'm the best father image ever.'

His thoughts were interrupted when a familiar female voice came to his ear.

"Is this seat taken?"

Without even having to look up he knew it was Lily. But still. He just had to look up.

He had to see her. Of course he had looked at her a thousand times that day but she always became more and more beautiful every time.

He gave a nod and she took a seat right next to him. He tilted his head so it was easier to look at her.

It was strange. She was just in a plain black winter coat wearing a deep purple scarf and a pair of matching mittens. Her face was flushed red because of the cold and her mascara had been running down her cheeks. But still, she was more beautiful than ever.

"Fancy running into you here. Sirius told me you'd gone out for a walk when I came back." Lily tried to break the ice with a shy smile.

"Lily-" James sighed "-Cut the crap okay? Why didn't you tell me?"

"James, you have to understand that I-"

"That you what? Huh? That you were a stupid confused teenager? Well, you know what? So was I. At the same time you were. And you know what else? I would have been there for you. I would have stood by your side like there was no tomorrow and you know that. You know that perfectly well and still you decided not to tell me! That just shows me what our relationship was like."

As he finished and caught his breath again he stood up and stormed away. With that it started raining. It started raining like the angels in the skies hadn't got a break to the loo for five months.

Lily quickly stood up and ran after him.

"James!"

He just quickened his pace when she started running after him and didn't answer.

"James, you can't say that you don't know!"

With that he stopped and looked at her angrilly.

"What don't I know? That it was hard for you? Oh, I know. But do you want to know something?"

"What?" Lily whimpered.

"I have spent the last eighteen months trying to get over you. And then I find out that everyone around me has been lying to my face. Even my own mother. You got everyone to lie to me Lily! How do you think that makes me feel? And you say that I don't know… I know a lot more than you think." He basically screamed and stormed off again.

"James, wait!" Lily soon caught up with him, which couldn't have been easy since he was about 6,3 feet tall and had very long legs and a very fast pace. Back to the point. As she caught up with him she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.

"Now, You stay and you listen to me."

The rain shattered down on them and they were both soaking to their bones through their coats.

"I understand that you're angry with me. Believe me I do. I would be too if I were you. But you have to understand that I was confused-" James opened his mouth to interrupt her but Lily quickly drew up her wand and put a silencing charm on him "Silencio. Will you now please keep quiet while I talk?"

He couldn't say no since he couldn't even speak so he just nodded his head, getting more drops from his hair onto his face and glasses.

"-As I was saying. I was confused. I didn't know how you were going to react to the whole matter and quite frankly I was scared. No, I was terrified. I was terrified of losing you. I thought that maybe you'd freak out, leave me and I would never see you again."

The pair shared a stare into each others eyes.

"Well, don't you have anything to say?" Lily's voice was now cracking. "After all that you haven't got anything to say?"

James didn't quite understand what she meant. 'What? She's the one who put the silencing charm on me.'

"What?" James mouthed with his lips and Lily got the message and withdrew the charm.

"Oops" She giggled through her tears, "-I forgot about that."

James smiled, "I know, I know that it mustn't have been easy for you, being pregnant and all that. But I would have been there for you. I… I just thought you already knew that." He hung his head.

She smiled sweetly and placed her hand under his chin and brought his face back up. "I know that now"

"You know what else?" James said after a short while.

"What?" She answered wiping away the rain from his forehead.

"I never got over you." Lily then lost her breath. "-I think that's the reason I got so upset. I just hadn't gotten over you yet."

After having said that he quickly placed his hand on her cheek and the other on her lower back, bringing his face down to hers.

"No I didn't know that." Lily whispered right before their lips touched.

The kiss was phenomenal for both of them. It reminded a lot about their very first kiss, but this one had more hunger, more desire, more lust and more aching familiarness.

They stood there in a street somewhere in London in the pouring rain kissing with the skies falling down on them.

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I hope you liked it, I'm trying to update as fast as I can so you can expect the next chapter soon.  
Please do review, whether it's positive or negative and leave your opinion of it. I am very open to critisism and want evolve and expand my writing skills as much as I can. Till next we meet. Adios!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

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The three days James and Lily had spent back together had been absolute bliss, they had stayed inside Lily's apartment the whole time, where James got to know his daughter and the pair reminisced the old days. Sirius had even been kind enough to volounteer to baby-sit Anna for them one day to let them rekindle their romance or in his own words "Go past the hoops in Quidditch again" when neither James nor Lily understood the joke he explained, "You know, like when the Yanks say go to third base and all that..." The pair stayed silenced and the annoyed Sirius said " Well, you see I've got this lady friend who is coincidently an American so I've been learning all these cool American slangs-" James cut him short, irritated about his friends endless talking abilities "All right, mate, that's great."

Sirius then pretended to be hurt and exclaimed "Fine, you two are not worthy of hearing my slang-abilities! I'll go somewhere I'm appreciated!" And with that he apparated out with the baby in his hands.

Finally alone, James drew his face closer to Lily's who had been sitting beside him in the sofa and said "So, what about them Guidditch hoops?" She giggled and kissed him softly, that led to many hours of hoop passing.

-------

"Potter? At work on time? Well this is a surprise" James heard Alastor Moody's sardonic voice behind him.

"Good morning sir." He couldn't help but to sound cheerful. "How are you today?"

"Look Potter, I'm not here to make small talk. I'm curious if you have considered my offer. Have you made a decision?"

James suddenly remembered his meeting wih Moody a few days earlier and had never felt more embarrassed in his entire life, well not quite, but this was defenetily in the top five…  
"No, sir, I haven't. You know Lily-"

"Evans, yes."

"… yes, her. Well. I apparently got her-"

"Pregnant, yes."

"Uhm, yeah. And now she and I have-"

"Rekindled the love" Moody said iniquitously

James was now getting really freaked "Yes. And I've become a part of our daughter's-"

"Annabelle's life. Am I correct?"

"Well, yes. Excuse me sir but how do you know all this?" The freaked out James asked

"I ran into Lily down in Diagon Alley yesterday." Moody replied nonchalantly

"Oh, Right. Okay. And that brings me back to my point; I actually haven't given the assignment even the slightest thought, I'm sorry to inform you…" the reddening, young Auror told his boss.

"Sorry I didn't quite hear you; did you just say that you forgot about the top secret mission I asked you to be a part of, are you that brainless?"

"I did sir." James' face was now redder than ever

"Why Potter?"

"Because of Lily, and Anna, it's all been very overwhelming. I'm sorry."

"Well, let me tell you something, Potter! I have not wasted-" Moody suddenly fell silent, "Are you saying that you haven't told Lily?"

"No, I haven't told her yet. In fact I haven't told anyone."

Moody's face got weird for a second "You haven't told her?"

"No, sir."

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"Yesterday, before I went to dinner at my parents' house. They had invited me to dinner and I didn't realise how late it was so I just stayed at their house last night."

"Right.-" Moody nodded, "You should go tell her now, perhaps she won't be that mad."

"Sorry?" James was confused

"When I ran into her yesterday, it seemed as though she was aware of the mission"

"How can that be?"

"Potter, just go."

James got the message, grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

Moody blinked James with his normal eye.

James gave him a freaked smile as he thought 'He just gets weirder and weirder'

"Oh, and Potty?"

James turned, with a slightly frightened look on his face 'What did he just call me?' He thought to himself

"Yes sir?"

"Sweet daughter, you've got. Who knew that _you _could have such a pretty child, seeing as she's almost the spitting image of you."

"Err, thankyou sir." 'Twat' James added in his head as he left the office.

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Yes, that's the end of this chapter, leave your thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: You know the drill._

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Lily sat on the couch in her apartment folding the laundry when James walked in, "Evening dear"

She looked at him for a second before answering dryly "Hello"

"Uh-oh, am I in trouble?" He asked teasingly

Lily didn't answer but stood up instead with the laundry in her hands, went into the bedroom to put the freshly clean clothes into the closet.

'Oh dear! She's really pissed off' James thought to himself

When she came out James had lit some candles and put romantic music on in attempt to soften her up.

"What are you doing?" She asked in the same dry manner as before

"Setting the mood" He winked as he waved his wand and on the coffee table appeared two wine glasses. "Where's our offspring, my love?" James asked, kissing Lily softly on the forehead, handing her a glass of wine and folding his arms around her.

"I asked my mum to baby-sit for the night. We need to talk."

"M-mm, yeah, we will. But first," He took a sip and put the two glasses on the table again. "-dance with me"

"What?" Lily giggled "Dance?"

He nodded, smiling.

"Now?"

"Mm. Right here, right now."

Lily smiled sweetly at him and draped her arms around his shoulders.

They started moving slowly to the rhythm of the music

"James?" Lily whispered after a while.

"Mmm?" He mumbled into her hair.

"Why didn't you tell me about this thing with Moody?"

James stayed quiet for a while and then spoke "I forgot about it"

"You forgot?" Lily stopped "What do you mean you forgot? This is exactly something you forget James"

"Well, you can't deny that there were a lot of things going on" James stopped dancing too. "Besides, I was alone when Moody told me about the assignment! I didn't have anyone to care for, but then you came back into my life, and you brought Anna along with you, this is the happiest I've been in months! Years even! I have decided not to go so it doesn't matter anymore! Please don't let this interfere with what we have."

"James, I'm not going to make a big deal out of this, but really. You should have told me about it. The only thing I'm mad about is that you decided to keep this from me." Lily retorted back at James.

"Why is this an issue? I told you I forgot! Besides it's not like you need to know everything I do. We've only just started dating again…" He answered slightly raising his voice and letting go of her.

"Excuse me? I don't need to what? James! This assignment requires you to leave for several months! You could lose your life doing it! It's just completely irresponsible to forget about something this huge!" Lily's eyes were burning at this point "So if you're not ready to commit to me and our life together with Anna then what are we doing here?"

James remained silent for a little while looking at her hesitantly, "It's not like we're married here Lily, now is it?" he asked her finally.

Lily's eyes quickly turned from burning to tears. "No. James, it's not. And with that said I'd really appreciate it if you would leave now." Lily answered sadly "Since we're not married and all…" she added

"What are you saying?" James asked, confused.

"What are _you_ saying, James?" Tears were now running down her cheeks

"I… I don't really see what I did wrong here, Lily" He answered uncertain

"That says it all, doesn't it?" She looked at him for a second before she headed towards the door and opened it

"Goodbye James"

James who had stood still staring at her… the woman, he had fallen in love with all over again in three days had succeeded in ripping his heart out and stepping all over it for the second time. He grabbed his jacket and wand and stormed out, leaving Lily holding the door half open, silent tears running down her cheeks.

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"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" James heard the voice of his best friend above him where he lay face down on a table at a muggle pub.

In stead of answering he simply grunted.

"Lily called me in tears! What's the matter with you?" Sirius seemed furious "What's this bloody assignment you've been keeping from us?"

"I don't know! I don't know! I DON'T BLOODY KNOW WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME!" James screamed into Sirius' face and apparated out of the bar, leaving the surprised Sirius in his dust.

The people around had been watching them argue and were stunned when the man with the glasses suddenly dissappeared into thin air.

"Great, thanks a lot James" Sirius uttered under his breath "Right, if you'd please form a single line for me, I'm about to show you a trick" And with the wave of his wand he erased the incident from their memories.

Sirius then left the bar in a foul mood and went on a pursuit to find his drunken friend again.

While this was happening James had appeared in front of the Ministry of Magic. Since it was late there were very few wizards and witches around, but James gave the ones who greeted him a light nod and a small smile.

When he got to the Aurors' office, the only wizard in sight was his boss, Alastor Moody.

"I'll do it." Was all James said as he closed the door and approached his boss.

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_Dun-dun! Leave you thoughts._


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: You know the drill._

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"You will what now?" Moody asked, not having heard what James said since he was busy scrubbing his wooden foot with slime from an apple snail.

James looked at the wooden foot with disgust "I'll do the… the assignment for Dumbledore…" he answered a little dazed out, watching Moody taking the slime that had hit the table and sniffing it up his nostril.

"Keeps my head straight, Healer recommended…" He answered when he saw the look on James' face. "But what did you say?" Moody then asked fixing his eye on James "You'll do it?"

"Yes." He simply answered.

"The last time we talked I got the impression that you weren't interested… what changed your mind?"

"Nothing, I guess I just… I just want to do my part." James answered shrugging, not wanting to pour his heart out to his boss.

Moody stared at him for a minute and then replied "All right, seeing as it is now Saturday and your notice was on Friday, yesterday that is…" He said, looking thoughtful out the window "… oh, never mind. I'll send Dumbledore an owl and give you information about the assignment and you will be contacted when we need you. Go home now Potter, get some rest, say you goodbyes…" He trailed off observing him with his normal eye

James who had been distracted by the little apple snails moving all over the desk leaving long lines of slime, the whole time Moody had spoke plus he wasn't quite sober yet answered "What? Oh right. Yeah. Okay. Will do bossman." He gave his boss a wink as he stood up and walked across the room to the door.

As he opened it he heard Moody's voice again "Oh and Potter?"

"Yes sir?"

"Don't ever wink at me again, understood?"

"Yes sir" James answered slightly blushing as he closed the door.

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When James got home he immediately took a shower, as he stood there letting the warm water splash down on the back of his head, neck and back, his mind kept drifting over to Lily. 'Did she really mean what she said? She was never the kind of person who'd hurt someone deliberately. Well except for that one time…' He thought to himself as the bathroom got steamier and steamier.

He started thinking of his last day at Hogwarts…

_-Flashback-_

"_Are you all right Lily?" A young James asked his girlfriend, "You've been acting kind of odd for a while now…" He said, putting his arm around her shoulder and looking down at her._

"_Wha… oh, yes, yes I'm fine." She answered a little distracted, looking over the grounds, "It's a beautiful day, everyone seems to be outside and in a good mood…" She said changing the topic and gesturing over to a group of third years chatting and playing Exploding Snap. _

_It was true, everyone had gone out to enjoy their last day, students from all Houses and years were outside doing something, reading, playing wizard chess or just laying on the ground with their friends and talking._

_James had noticed a change in Lily over the last month or so, he'd just figured it had something to with the N.E. coming and everything. But still, even after the exams she'd just acted weirder with every passing day._

"_Yeah… hey, let's sit down here." He replied, eyeing a spot near the lake that wasn't taken._

_He grinned as they took a seat and said "You do know where we are sitting don't you?"_

_Lily looked around for a second trying to place the spot in her mind until she realized and gave a slight smile,_

"_Of course I know… this is our spot."_

_He took her hand in his and gave it a peck. "Yep, this is our spot. Where we had our first date, right?"_

"_I believe so." She said looking at him with an odd expression._

"_Why are you looking at me like that?" James asked her warily, still smiling._

"_Studying your face… remembering it." She answered, seriously, memorizing the color of his eyes, his unruly hair, the way his nose bent a little bit to the right after having it broken by a Quaffle on his first Quidditch practice. His hands, his arms, his torso, his shoulders, his neck until she got to his face again. _

_She got up on her knees and kissed him on the forehead, the nose and finally on the mouth._

"_I love you." She told him, still close to his face. The way she said it frightened James a bit. Sure, they had told each that they loved each other before, but there was something in the manner she said it that was so sincere it almost wasn't true._

"_And I love you." He whispered back, giving her an Eskimo kiss, rubbing their noses together._

"_Hey you know what we haven't done in a while?" He asked her after a minute of silence, smirking. Before Lily could answer he jumped on top of her and started tickling her._

"_No! No! James, stop!" She managed to squeal out and he stopped._

"_Oh and why would I do that? It's so fun watching you squirm underneath me." He said laughing._

"_Just do it!" She told him struggling beneath him._

"_What's the magical word, darling?"_

"_Will you please get off me?" Lily tried in a fake fluffy tone._

"_Okay…" He rolled off of her onto his side, "You've been acting weird lately, are you sure you're all right?" James asked her in a serious manner, playing with her hair._

"_Oh, you know. N.E.W.T.s and stuff…" She answered looking up at the sky._

_The lay there in silence for a while, until James broke it saying, "Lily, I've been thinking-" but he was cut off when Lily interrupted him._

"_I think we should break up."_

_He lay still for a moment, processing what she just said, "You what?" he asked her, sitting up and looking at her._

"_I just… I just don't think it's a good idea to be in a serious relationship right now. I'm not ready for this kind of commitment…" She answered sitting up as well._

"_What are you talking about? Serious relationship? We've been going out since September last year!" He nearly yelled._

"_Yes, that's what I'm saying! I don't want a marriage and a house right away!" She yelled back not meeting his eyes._

"_When have we ever talked about marriage? Or buying a house?"_

"_I just want to free and independent!" Lily screamed, getting up and storming away. She stopped and turned around a few feet away from James who had gotten up as well, and added "We… this thing between us… it's over!" She turned around again and kept on storming away._

"_Fine!" He yelled at her back, not even sure if she could hear him or if she cared. He grabbed a stone and threw it in the lake, making the Giant Squid throw its arms into the air._

_He looked up into the sky and over the grounds. The sun was still shining, but he didn't feel warm at all, and the students were still lying, spread all over, tanning and chatting._

'_How can anyone enjoy such a dark day?' He asked himself mentally, walking over to his friends who were sitting in the shadow of a tall tree, playing some sort of game and rolling around laughing._

_-End Flashback-_

When James came around, there was so much steam, he couldn't see his hands.

He sighed and turned the water off, the second he did so he heard someone knocking on the door. He quickly grabbed his bathrobe and ran to the door, where he greeted none other than his old Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.

"Good evening, James," The old man said, smiling with his eyes through his spectacles.

"Oh, hello Professor." James answered slightly surprised, seeing as he hadn't quite expected the visit.

"Ah, did I come at a bad time?" Dumbledore asked looking at James amused, which was to be expected, James was soaking wet and squinting his eyes at his old professor as he wasn't wearing his glasses.

"No, not at all. Please come in Professor." He gestured and moved so Albus could walk into the apartment.

"Oh, call me Albus, no need for that 'Professor' title outside the school."

"Right, okay," James answered "Please do sit down. Make yourself comfortable, I'm just going to go and get dressed." James told the old man and pointed over to the sofa on his way to the bedroom.

When he got back out, moments later with his back on, he asked, "Do you want anything to drink? Butterbeer? Tea?"

"Some tea would be nice, yes, thank you." Dumbledore nodded. James waved his wand and a kettle, milk jug, two cups and a bowl filled with sugar cubes appeared on the table.

"You are probably wondering why I'm here," Dumbledore said knowingly, as James poured tea into their cups.

"Well, yes." He answered with a slight blush.

"I received an owl from Moody this morning," Dumbledore began "saying that I would have to find another wizard for my task."

James listened intently to what Dumbledore was saying, stirring his tea.

"So you can imagine my surprise when I received another owl an hour ago, saying that there was no need for another wizard." He continued. "And James, I have to say I feel very confident when I say that this assignment I'm giving to you could lead to the destruction of Voldemort."

James coughed up his tea hearing Dumbledore saying that, "You want me to… to murder Voldemort?"

"Oh, no. No James, I don't want you to murder him. I _need_ you to _destroy_ him. It isn't enough to just kill him, he must be destroyed and you, James, are the most qualified young Auror here in England," Dumbledore said calmly but firmly, taking a sip of his tea. When he saw the frozen look on James' face he went on "Of course you'll have help, do you remember Frank Longbottom? A Gryffindor and a few years older than you." James nodded, he remembered Frank very well. He'd been a fourth year when James first started Hogwarts and helped him pass Herbology during his first three years at Hogwarts.

"You will be their protage."

"But, they're much more qualified. They have a lot more experience out on the field than I-" James started but Dumbledore interrupted "Hence the training you will receive."

They sat in silence for a minute before Dumbledore continued "I know this is short notice, but the training starts tomorrow. We just received new information on Voldemort's plans so the training will have to be quick and start as soon as possible."

James merely nodded, since he was a little overwhelmed by all the confidence and trust Dumbledore put in him.

"Well, I will be taking my leave now." Dumbledore said.

When they had gotten up and were at the door Dumbledore put his hand on James' shoulder and told him "Don't worry James, everything will make sense sooner than you think." His light blue eyes sparkling with wisdom and sincerity.

James gave him a small smile and a slight nod and soon Dumbledore was gone.

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James had sat in the same chair, staring out the window for what seemed like hours. It was snowing. The first snow of the season, he and Sirius had a tradition, they'd always go outside on the first day of snow and have major snowball fight, they had done it ever since they started Hogwarts, even if it was at nighttime they'd just sneak out using James' Invisibility Cloak. They even did it last year. Sirius had apparated into his apartment screaming "It's started snowing!" at three o'clock in the morning.

James smiled at the memory. He stood up, fetched a quill and a handful of pargement, he was going to write letters to his friends and family, saying that he was going to do this and that for Dumbledore.

When he'd written letters to Sirius, Remus, Peter and his parents, there was one piece of pargement left lying on the table.

'Should I?' He thought to himself 'Would she want me to after everything?' He didn't get a chance to answer his own question as someone knocked on the door for the second time that evening.

James handed the four letters to his owl, opened the window, let it out and then made his way to the door.

When he opened it he could see a pair of emerald eyes, surrounded by a heap of dark red wavy hair. It was Lily.

"Good evening James," She said shyly after moments of awkward silence "may I come in?"

He opened the door slightly and headed over on to the couch. Lily closed the door behind her and took of her coat. "It's freezing outside" She tried but James simply looked at her with a confounded expression.

"It's funny how I always end up hunting you down and apologizing." She tried again this time taking a seat on the couch next to James, smiling with a shy smile.

He couldn't help but smile back at her and taking a few strands of her hair and tucking them behind her frozen ears.

"Oh, sorry." He apologized when he realized what he'd done. "No, don't be." Lily quickly answered.

They sat awkwardly and the tension that was between them could be cut with a knife.

"I'm sorry!" She finally broke the silence, turning to face James, wrapping her hands around his. "I'm so, so, sorry. I can't believe I acted the way I did! You know me. I don't have fits like that." 'True…' James thought to himself and she continued. "I was just hurt and I was scared for you. I just panicked and I have no excuses for the things I said. I didn't mean them. I want you to be a part of Anna's life." Tears were now rolling down her cheeks.

He brushed away her tears with his thumbs and cupped her face with his hands.

"Look at me," he said. "It was my fault-"

"No! It was entirely my fault James." Lily interrupted him, grabbing his upper arms the tiny tears still running slowly down her cheeks.

"I should have told you about the whole thing," He began, "but I forgot and I'm really sorry for that, you were right, it was incredibly irresponsible of me. So what about agreeing on that you're the smart one and I'm the git?" He offered, smiling, making Lily chuckle.

James continued "I would like to be a part of Anna's life. Can't have Sirius and you raising a child, imagine what she'd be like in a few years…" They both laughed at the last comment, James still cupping her face and Lily still grasping his upper arms tightly.

"Would you like to be a part of mine too?" She asked, looking him straight in the eyes, her eyes still tearful.

The only response James could think of was to kiss her and so he did.

The kiss quickly deepened, and it became very clear what it was leading to.

He picked her up, she wrapped her legs around him and he walked into the bedroom, still kissing her and kicking the door shut behind him.

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When Lily woke up the next morning, she found herself alone in the apartment.

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_Longest chapter by far... leave your thoughts._

_-BK_


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: You know the drill!_

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"Thanks for coming you guys," Lily said kissing her parents goodbye "It's good Sirius has something to play with." She said as the three of them watched the grown man with the little girl in his arms sitting on the floor holding a large, fluffy bear that made sounds when banged against the floor, both laughing as it did so.

"Well darling, we best be off. Your father has an early meeting in the morning." Lily's mother said giving her daughter one last squeeze, turned to her granddaughter still in Sirius' arms "See you next weekend pumpkin."

"Can't wait peaches" He answered grinning broadly.

She smiled "I did mean my granddaughter but you are welcome to come along as well dear." She patted Sirius on the head and went out the door.

"Bye dad." Lily kissed her father again and closed the door behind him.

She leaned against the closed door, watching Sirius making tricks with the teddy bear making Anna laugh uncontrollably. Today had been her first birthday, Lily could hardly believe that she had had her for a year now.

"It is now time for bed for little girls" She said after a few moments, making Sirius groan

"Ohww, but I want to play!" He said, getting up to his feet, still holding the little girl

"Sirius," Lily said calmly "Hand over the baby."

"You'll have to catch us first!" He called out and began running, quickly followed by Lily.

After having lost their breath and noticing Anna's yawns, Lily told Sirius to start gathering all the presents her daughter had gotten for her birthday and tidy up, while she'd go put Anna to sleep.

When the baby was soundly asleep wearing cute pajamas covered with kittens, Lily went back into the living room only to find Sirius sitting in the middle of a huge pile of toys grinning sheepishly at her, "What has one child to do with so many toys? She doesn't even know what half of them are."

"I guess not." Lily smiled as she sat down next to him, picking up the teddy bear Sirius had played with earlier "Where do you think he is?"

Sirius stopped puzzling the puzzle he was puzzling, (**A/N Hahaha, I just had to**!) not surprised by the sudden change of subject nor having to ask who she meant.

It had been almost two months since James had disappeared and no one had heard from him since.

"I honestly have no idea." He sighed rubbing his eyes.

"Do you think he's okay? I mean… we would know if something would happen to him right?"

"Hey, Jamie's a big boy. And he's an amazing and gifted Auror, he knows what he's doing." Sirius told her reassuringly looking her square in the eye and stroking her arm.

"Yes… yes, you're right." She answered grabbing his hand and holding it tightly

They held eye contact for a while until Lily suggested a shot of fire whiskey letting go of his hand not bothering to wait for an answer.

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In an hour they'd already finished half the bottle and were now laying on the floor side by side talking quietly.

"You know, Sirius, I honestly thought you'd tell James that I was pregnant after that day in Diagon Alley…" Lily slurred out.

"Well. As we're talking honestly here, "They both giggled "I actually meant to tell him. But, since you threatened Remus and me to cut off our ears and make us eat them I admit I was a bit afraid." He turned his head so he could get a better look at her, his dark hair falling down his face and smiling broadly with a mischievous glint in his grayish eyes.

Lily turned her head as well laughing slightly "Well, I was a little of a toughie during school."

"A little?" Sirius asked her, cocking his brow. "I was afraid of you up until seventh year."

"You've always been a coward, Sirius Black." She threw back at him playfully

"Oh yeah?" He moved a little closer

"Mhm." Lily nodded, getting up on her elbow, lying on her side

"Are you so sure of that?" Sirius whispered, his body now no more than an inch apart from hers.

"Yes" She answered.

"Well then, I guess you leave me no choice but to-" He didn't finish his sentence but instead jumped onto her and started tickling her. They rolled around for quite a while tickling and fighting each other playfully until Lily sat on top of Sirius holding his arms above his head.

"What is it with you Maurauders and tickling me?" She asked gasping for her breath.

"Oh, were you and Peter having a good time?" He answered grinning and winking at her.

"Good God, Sirius!" She smacked him on the head "That is disgusting!"

"Hey now, you are talking about a very, very dear friend of mine" He nodded, closing his eyes pretending to be hurt.

"You can't be serious, Sirius." After the words came out of her mouth they both fell into fits of laughter.

"Merlin's beard! That one never dies." He said after a while, stroking away the tears.

"Yeah, either that or we're really drunk so we've lost all sense of humour." Lily answered knowingly making him shrug his shoulders. "You're probably right."

Lily rested her head on his chest and they both fell silent, enjoying the moment.

"I can't believe that I'm a mother and I'm not even nineteen yet." She spoke after a short while staring into space.

"Neither can I." Sirius answered playing with her curls.

There were a few minutes of silence again before Lily spoke again "Thank you."

"For what?"

She lifted her head so she could see his face. "For everything you've done."

"You're more than welcome, I love playing with Anna and I love hanging out with you."

"Really?" Lily asked with a blissful look in her eyes

"Really." He assured her, cupping her face with both of his hands and kissed her on the forehead.

Lily smiled up at him sweetly and then leaned her head on his shoulder. She soon fell asleep. It wasn't until Sirius heard the slight snores coming from her that he realised that she had fallen asleep. As he stood up and got back down to his knees to lift her up he heard a cracking sound fill the room followed by an even louder noice, the person who had entered was a tall man who ungraciously entered the room via apparation had tripped on the bottle of Firewhisky lying on the floor and fell down on the floor face first. Sirius looked down at Lily who had not been awakened by the noice was still in her drunken slumber, drew up his wand in defense and spun the unconcious man on the floor next to him around to see who it was and to his astonishment it was none other than his best friend James Potter.

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_So, please review and leave your thoughts. Adios!_


	9. Chapter 9

_All right, here's the Disclaimer: You know the drill!_

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Sirius had taken the still unconscious James home on Lily's request when she had awokened the next morning, who was both confused and rather angry at James for apparating into her apartment late and unannounced.

James woke up in his own bed later that day with a throbbing headache and immediately saw a note from Sirius, saying that he'd gone to work but he'd stop by during his lunch break and check on James, he sat up grunting instantly making the headache worse. With that his eyes landed on the alarm clock '11:07' he thought and then said "Hey that rhymes!" James smacked himself on the head for his own stupidity. "Gees, I'm starting to sound like Sirius." He shook his head laid back down and rested his head on the soft pillow. Soon he fell back asleep, dreaming.

"_Potter! POTTER!" James was heaved up from his sleep by a tall, strong man. "Hurry, get your clothes on now! We need to leave!"_

_As he opened his eyes he could smell the smoke and see the fire burning all around them, hearing screams that filled the usually empty building. He did as he was told and followed the man._

"_What happened, Kingsley?" James asked, as they ran down a flight of stairs. Although James was tall and muscular, he was nowhere near as burly and brawny as Kingsley Shacklebolt so he had a hard time keeping up with the sprinter._

"_Death Eaters! That's what happened!" He replied stopping suddenly making James crash into him._

"_What?"_

_He didn't get an answer; instead he was pushed into a broom cupboard "Quick in here!" Kingsley closed the door behind them panting, with sweat dripping down his forehead._

_It suddenly dawned on James; there had been an attack. Here. Right where they'd been staying, waiting for orders the past week. Someone had told._

"_You finally caught on did you?" his thought were interrupted by Kingsley's deep voice. "Judging by the look on your face, I'm guessing yes," He took his eyes of James and gazed through a crack on the door, wiping the sweat off with his arm. "Are you all right?"_

"_Uhm… Yeah. I think so. Yes, yes I'm fine" He tried to sound poised, but he didn't even fool himself. He was scared. This wasn't supposed to happen. As excellent and tough as the training had been, nothing could have prepared them for what had happened and would soon take place. The training had taken place in the north of Scotland in an isolated area away from innocent muggles and curios wizards. In whole James, Frank and Kingsley had been trained by Moody and other Aurors for three weeks relentlessly until suddenly an acquisition of Voldemort's plans were passed onto them._

_They were immediately moved to an old house near to the place where Voldemort supposedly stayed between attacks. The three young Aurors had now been there for a month, gathering information regularly and timing the next attack._

"_Where's Frank?" James asked swiftly, realizing it was just the two of them._

_Kingsley moved and sat up against the wall sighing, "Who do you think they're torturing?"_

_Just as he finished the sentence a piercing scream filled the house yet again, James' eyes widened in shock. The Death Eaters were using the Crucio curse against Frank._

"_We must do something!" He answered immediately "We must help him!"_

"_Don't you think I know that?" Kingsley asked him heatedly, "I'm thinking all right? We can't just burst in there, now can we?" He asked him once more as if James were a five year old._

_Moments passed and they heard nothing. James sensed that Kingsley was starting to get nervous, something that did not comfort him at all. He looked up to him, a much more experienced Auror than himself, intellectual, older. The typical role model for a young Auror such as James._

"_He and his wife, Alice, are trying to get pregnant, you know. I can't imagine how upset and heartbroken she'll be if we don't bring him back alive," James whispered sadly "They're the happiest couple I've ever met. Just meant to be you know."_

_Kingsley gave him a small exhausted smile._

"_So I've heard."_

"_What about you, sir? Have you got any family?"_

"_Had, my wife and twin girls were murdered a few years ago. Death Eaters." Kingsley answered brusquely._

"_I'm sorry." James said earnestly._

"_Yeah, well. It's-" He stopped in mid sentence as spell was cast to the very broom closet James and Kingsley were hiding in making them both black out._

_--------_

_The first thing James saw when he regained consciousness were his two colleagues, one holding himself up on his arms and legs, like a dog, panting, sweat dripping down on the floor, obviously in severe pain. The other chained up against the wall, screaming for his life, in severe pain as well, as two figures stood close to himself holding up wands and muttering incantations._

_He looked around the room, the walls were black with soot and there was a foul scent in the air. Abruptly he was pulled up on his hair and dragged to the other end of the room, with his hands tied behind his back. On a large wooden chair sat a man whose face James couldn't see as it was leaned back and covered in shadow. As James was dropped onto the floor the man spoke, "I have been expecting you, Mr. Potter."_

_A pair of red eyes scanned James' twisted body on the floor beneath him._

"_My friends were just getting to know your associates," He gestured with his hand over to Frank and Kingsley._

_James didn't answer nor look in the direction Voldemort had pointed to, but instead stared angrily into his eyes._

"_Have you no manners Mr. Potter?" Voldemort asked him in a fake surprising manner._

"_You, who are from such a noble and respected family?" He asked again._

"_My mother taught me never to talk to strangers." James answered calmly._

"_Cheeky are we? Well, we must fix that mustn't we?" Voldemort drew up his wand murmuring _

"_Cru-"_

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_Dundundun. Leave your thoughts...  
_


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: You know the drill by now._

_A/N: This was a difficult chapter to write, i never knew when to have Lily confront James about leaving her behind... but I think I managed it to work... but don't worry, they will have plenty of more blowups concerning that AND other things.  
When you're done reading the chapter, review. And then I'll update faster._

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_

James jumped up, sweating uncontrollably, out of breath.

"Relax mate, relax!" Sirius stood by the side of his bed, grasping his shoulders with a concerned look in his eyes.

"Y'all right now?"

"Ye…yeah," He answered, catching his breath "Just a bad dream"

Sirius threw a cynical glance in his friend's direction but didn't press the matter… yet. Instead he picked up a brown paper bag, filled with food and hurled it to James.

"Here you go. I Thought you might be hungry." He said with a wink.

"You were right. I'm famished!" James replied, ripping the bag.

Silence filled the room for a few minutes while James ate until Sirius all of the sudden spoke.

"Bad dream you say?"

James' mouth was full when he responded "Mmffjeah-"

"James," Sirius interrupted him. "Swallow before you speak."

With that he gulped down the piece of bread he was eating and gawked at his best friend,

"Who would've thought, that you'd ever teach anyone manners?"

Sirius merely shrugged, mumbled something about Lily and grabbed an apple that was lying on the bed.

"I never really did notice it before. But you changed after Hogwarts." James said still staring at his friend

"I guess…" Sirius shrugged "since we're talking of changes, let's steer the arrow onto you. You're acting odd."

"First of all, what was up with that metaphor?"

They both chuckled,

"And secondly, I'm acting odd?" He continued.

"Yes." Sirius simply answered lifting his feet up on the bed and leaning backwards on the chair he sat on.

"How do you mean?" James furrowed his brow.

"You know… you're just… different." He finished lamely.

"Ah, different… how?" James asked again, sitting up straighter than before.

"Well, for example you haven't mentioned anything about what happened for the past two months!" Sirius uttered as he threw the apple in his friend's direction, which he caught and paused for a second before responding.

"I don't really want to go over it all again; it was bad enough having to relive it in my dream. But, I may as well tell you that we didn't succeed."

"What happened?" Sirius asked concerned having read the letter from James months ago, receiving the flying apple from James and throwing it right back to him.

"Yeah… they uhm… they caught Frank and then Kingsley and I… it was just… it was horrible and Voldemort's still out there."

"I see. And they just let you go?"

"Yes, with a warning. They just left us there, chained up against a wall for almost a week. It wasn't until some muggles came up to the house with hunting dogs that we were found by accident. It was in the news all over Scotland and then the Order found out what had happened and oh god, it was crazy. We had to reverse hundreds memories and make the editors at the newspapers and newsstations retract the story…"

"And they just suddenly showed up?"

James who had kept his head down the entire time he had informed Sirius what had happened looked up at his friend with a solemn look.

"There is a Death Eater among us in the Order"

Sirius shuddered.

"How else could they have known?" James asked noone in particular angrily.

"What does Dumbledore say?" Sirius asked.

"I haven't seen him yet" James said earnestly "He wasn't at Hogwarts when I went to see him last night."

There came another silence and the best friends looked at each other worriedly.

Sirius broke the silence "I'm thinking of joining the Order. It's official, my little brother is one of them."

"What? Regulus is a Death Eater?"

"Yes," Sirius stared blankly into space "not that it's a surprise or anything. But I feel like I have to do my part now, save the world from being under the control of Voldemort and the likes of Regulus and Bellatrix."

James smiled proudly at his friend "It's truly miraculous that you turned out the way you did"

"That's true!" Sirius smiled with his eyes and glanced at his watch.

"FUCK! My lunch break was over twenty minutes ago" He said standing up "and my boss is pissed at me enough as it is. You know sometimes I think it isn't even worth working with muggles, they take punctuality so seriously" He snorted at his pun proud of his wittiness.

"What did you do this time?" James asked him wilfully, as if he were a small child.

"Nothing… I only slept with her…" Sirius trailed off.

"And?"

Sirius groaned "… and her daughter."

"Christ, Padfoot! You dirty dog."

The second James said that he placed his hand over his mouth with a fake surprised expression.

"Ha ha, James, what are you? A girl?"

"Heh, I'm starting to think so."

"Yeah, always fainting. Such a girly thing."

"Not so much fainting as just plunging down on my head and thus losing conscience." He nodded.

"Yeah… no, you're just a girl." They both laughed and Sirius continued.

"It's been a long time since you called me Padfoot. Too long." He pointed out.

"Now who's the girl? Stop getting all mushed up! Go to work Daisy!" He smiled at his friend and pushed him so he stumbles a few feet back.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gone, later!" And with that Sirius apparated out of the flat, leaving James alone in his bed. (**A/N: In a non-gay way, hehe**.)

James stood up and went to the bathroom, took a shower, brushed his teeth and whatnot, until he was fully dressed and ready to go and see his old professor.

-----

When James had arrived at Hogwarts he was told that Dumbledore was not expected back for at least another week. Feeling rather disappointed he apparated to the closest village. As James walked along the over-the-top Christmas decorated streets of Hogsmeade he felt a certain void inside of him, he couldn't help but feel sad. Distracted in his thoughts he accidentally stumbled into someone, ironically enough, Lily carrying their daughter in one arm and six bags from various shops, clearly out of breath and cold. James couldn't help but notice the cute redness in her cheeks, the snowflakes in her beautiful red hair and the way the greenness in her eyes hypnotized him.

"Speak of the devil!" She bellowed happily, smiling up at him and lifting Anna a bit higher up her waist.

"Let me help you." James said quickly, grabbing the bags swiftly.

"Thank you! God, I was starting to think my hand was going to fall off!" Lily laughed as they walked down the main street.

"That's not hard to believe. What have you got in here? Rocks?" He asked her peeking into the bags.

"Oh you wimp, but no, these are Christmas presents and decorations." She nodded.

"Ah, all right," James smiled and continued "So, you were talking about me were you?" He asked smirking, wondering whether Lily was mad at him or not. She didn't seem to be nut if he knew her correctly she was. Undoubtedly.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself James," Lily nudged his shoulder as she snorted "Anna and I were just wondering what to get Daddy for Christmas." She continued, turning her head to the girl she held and tickled her with her free hand, causing her to shriek.

He immediately stopped, "Daddy?" He asked his voice cracking.

"Have you forgotten?" Lily stopped as well and stood in front of him, "This-" She nodded over to her daughter "-is your daughter."

James sighed "I know that, but am I her 'Daddy'?"

"Well… yes." She answered confused, with a depressed look in her eyes.

Anna sensing the weird tension between the two adults, started crying loudly. James stood there, with a dense expression and finally said "What about Sirius?"

Lily looked up at him, the depressed look in her eyes replaced by a worried one.

"What about him?"

"Well, he's been there for you the entire time, hasn't he?"

She nodded in response, slowly, with a glint in her eye that told James to lay off it but his instincts told him to press the matter.

"So why isn't he her father? Or as you put it her 'Daddy'? He doesn't seem to have a problem with it… I mean, the two of you seemed pretty cozy last night." The feeling he'd felt before had been swapped with anger.

"How dare you! You rude b-a-s-t-a-r-d!" She stared up at him angrily not wanting to swear in front of her child, who seemed to be very interested in the fight between the two adults.

"Well, it was pretty obvious what was going on! Tell me, do you enjoy ripping my heart to pieces?"

"What? What was going on? Sirius told me that I had fallen asleep so he decided to carry me to my bed and all of the sudden you appeared out of thin air, fainting yet again!" She retorted into his face.

James opened his mouth to answer but she cut him off.

"And talk about ripping hearts to pieces, you left me alone in your apartment! And all I got was this ghastly vague letter that didn't explain anything about where you were going. How was I supposed to take that? It looked like a rejection, James!" She yelled once more.

James' expression softened with every word she spoke and nodded uncomfortable. But still his pride got the best of him.

"You know what Lily? I _can_ live without you, you know!" He spoke again rather loudly.

Lily stared, rather put out, but she quickly got a grip and replied "You just go ahead and do that, James! See if I care, I _can_ live withou you too you know!" She walked hurredly away from him, and with that Anna started crying hysterically in her mother's arms and held out her hands longingly in James' direction.

James gazed asthonished at his own words at his child and quickly realized what he had said and ran after her, "Lily wait!"

"Leave me alone, Ja-"

James ran up to her and interrupted her, suddenly very tranquil.

"I'm sorry."

Lily shifted a bit, rocking Anna in her arm, who was at that point bawling her eyes out.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted. Come on, let's go check up on Rosmerta and have some butterbear. We can talk in there, Anna's cold and exhausted and quite frankly I think my toes have frozen off my feet." He dragged Lily, who was coincidently still angry further down the street.

-----

When they had sat down, gotten their butterbears and calmed the youngster down Lily and James finally spoke to each other again, having spent the last minutes in complete silence.

"She is awfully cute." James initiated, looking amused at the little girl, who was sitting in a high chair between them, playing with a toy wand, which let out glitter when shook, and shrieking with delight.

"Of course you would think so,-" Lily answered taking a sip from her mug "-She looks exactly like you." Her expression was still unreadable.

"Nah, not exactly, she has your eyes-" He gazed into her eyes for a moment but quickly continued, changing the subject,

"-So what did you buy?"

Lily gave hima slight smile and took up a book with purple elephants and yellow whales. James read the title "'The tales of Sonny the whale and Richard the elephant'? You can't buy a gift for Anna when she's out shopping with you"

She laughed at that and replied "First of all, she's one year old and doesn't even know what a book is, or at least I don't think she does… and second of all, that book isn't for Anna, it's for Sirius. He put it on his wish list this Christmas." They both laughed at that and James said "Ah, I should have guessed it. Sirius and Anna are a great combo, it's nice that she's there to keep him down on the earth."

Saying so he lifted up his hand and stroke the back of Anna's head, making her look up at him with her big green eyes and smiling a big toothless smile, she leaned towards him, holding up her hands and mumbling.

"DaJam! DaJam!"

James looked at Lily with a bewildered face, "She wants you to hold her." She smiled.

"I knew that." He said and lifted Anna up from the chair and placed her in his lap.

"Aww, look at the two of you." Lily said smiling cheerfully, she looked at James, who was staring at her with a definite glow in his eyes, and she moved her chair a little closer, lifted her hand and stroked James' hair. "A picture perfect moment"

Lily drew up from her bag her wizard camera and took a picture of the pair. When she looked up from behind the lense she had a worried look on her face.

"What's this? A bald patch?" She joked stroking the top of James' head, making James shift in his seat and touch the top of his head panicky.

"Where?" He asked rather loudly but stopped when he saw Lily laughing.

"Oh, good one!" He exclaimed ironically.

"Shh, look." She pointed down at his lap, where the baby was sleeping soundly, saliva running down the side of her mouth.

They both smiled, and gazed down at their daughter for a few silent minutes.

"I'm sorry I missed Anna's birthday yesterday," James said glumly watching Anna shift in her sleep "That was the reason I came unannounced last night. I know it was late and way past her bedtime but I did come as soon as I could after everything that happened" he continued now looking up at Lily.

"I see" She answered smiling at him "I'm glad you wanted to be there"

"Of course" James told her nodded seriously.

"What exactly did happen?" Lily asked him hesitantly.

"I can't relly talk about it here," He said after pausing slightly, gazing to his sides, "you never know who might be listening"

"Sorry" Lily whispered, realizing he was right.

He simply smiled at her in response and silence fell between them once again.

"This feels right." James said quietly breaking the silence minutes later.

"What does?" She asked him, stroking the back of their daughter's hand with her thumb

"This… us." He said again, smiling.

Lily smiled back at him, puzzled "What are you saying, James?"

"I'm saying, if you want to, I'd like to start from scratch."

"Start from scratch?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"Yep."

"That's going to be a bit difficult, seeing as we already have a one year old daughter." Lily smiled up at him, nodding downwards.

"I'm serious." James wasn't smiling anymore, he looked into Lily's eyes, very genuinely.

"Marr-"

She cut him off, placing her hand over his mouth, staring up at him.

"Before you say anything you might regret I feel obligated to tell you something," She started.

"What?" He asked her, taken aback.

"I… you should know that I… I'm pregnant." She finished, looking up at him trying to make something out of James' expression.

He sat for a moment and stared out into thin air, all of the sudden he stood up, handed the still sleeping child to Lily and said "Err… I uh… I've got to go. I uhm…"

James turned around promptly and doing so he stumbled into a large man, making James fall down and on the way hitting his head on the counter so he lost his conscience, yet again.

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A/N: So, like I said in the beginning, this is where you review and make me update faster. Kudos!

-BK

P.S. Longest chapter by faaaaaaaaaaar. That alone deserved some reviewing.


	11. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: You know the drill..._

_On with the story!_

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"Good evening James." An elderly voice spoke.

James opened his eyes slowly and tried to make out where he was this time.

"You're in the hospital wing at Hogwarts" The same voice spoke again, making James turn to his left, to see whose voice it was. Doing so his head felt like it'd been banged against a wall, causing him to groan, he then reached out for his glasses on the nightstand and turned his head slowly to the left again.

"I hear you have taken on fainting quite a lot."

James now saw that the voice belonged to Dumbledore. Confused, he opened his mouth but Dumbledore beat him to it and continued,

"And you're probably wondering what you're doing back here aren't you?" He asked, but didn't wait for James to answer "A man named Hagrid brought you here, he's the gamekeeper, you must remember him, a very tall and large man."

He paused and waited this time for James to respond, who simply looked at his old Headmaster as if he'd gone on a limb and dyed his hair bright blue, not quite getting what Dumbledore was saying .

"-He felt he was to blame for your state of unconsciousness, though Lily,"

James' body shifted in the bed, as did his facial expression to a pleased one

"tried to persuade both him and myself that it was in fact intirely you own fault" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled behind his glasses.

"Oh." Was all James could respond.

"You two always were like oil and water."

"Really? Were we that different?"

Dumbledore merely smiled once more, before changing the subject,

"I hear the mission did not go as planned."

James had been dreading telling Dumbledore what happened, telling him that he hadn't succeeded, that he'd failed him.

They sat there talking for at least two hours, both of them apologizing to the other, James for letting Dumbledore down and Dumbledore for sending James on such a mission and risking his life.

"When I came here this morning, McGonagall told me that you weren't to expected back for at least another –"

"I must have forgotten to tell you James, you've been here for a week. I just arrived myself." Albus cut him short.

James stared at him, "A week?"

"Yes, a week."

"As in seven days?" James inquired, still staring at Dumbledore.

"Yes James, full seven days,"

"So it's the 20th of December?"

"Correct," Dumbledore nodded, finally getting what James was so surprised about and smiled, "I've sent an owl to one of your friends, he will be coming to take you back home shortly."

James blinked his eyes rapidly a few times before opening his mouth to speak, but Dumbledore had already risen and told him that he'd talk to him after New Year's after wishing him a happy Christmas.

When Dumbledore was out of sight, James let out a breath that he'd automatically been holding. He slid down and lay now straight in the bed, some seconds past before he drew he covers up over his head and closed his eyes.

He lost track of time, for all he knew he had laid there for hours. Lost in his thoughts, he was disturbed by a familiar voice.

"A week wasn't enough for you?"

James shot up from under the covers and saw his old friend Remus stand at the foot of the bed.

"Remus! Long time no see. How have you been?" He asked as he gestured over to the chair by the bed.

"Well, pretty much the same as always," Remus answered making his way over to the chair and sitting down, "There was a full moon three days ago, so as you can guess I was a wreck, but I feel fine now." He nodded and went on "From what I hear, things didn't go as planned. What happened?"

"Agh," James answered, waving his hand dismissively, "We can talk about that later, what I want to know… is Lily mad at me?" He asked biting his lip

Remus paused and looked at him, "No.-"

"No?" James asked hopefully, a smile spreading over his face.

"You didn't let me finish… she's not so much mad as she is… well, she told Sirius and I that she was disappointed in you." Remus explained carefully.

"Disappointed?" James bent his head down and started ruffling his hair, with a perplexed look on his face, "That's worse than mad isn't it?"

"Yes… I believe so."

"Did she say anything else?" He turned to face his friend, with an optimistic look in his eyes.

"Nope,"

"Do you think she's my still my girlfriend?"

"Still? You guys broke up years ago…"

"Yes, still… we kissed in the rain. You know how romantic I can be-"

"I don't think you can take credit for making it rain, James" Remus cut in.

"Whatever, it was really romantic and we, well, went out for a few days… until she learned about the mission, I honestly forgot to tell her about it, and we had a big fight… I had decided on not going but after the fight I changed my mind and told Moody that I'd do the assignment. That same night she came to my apartment and apologized and we kissed and made up… and well you know," He winked at Remus, who simply rolled his eyes. "The next morning I left for two months-"

"Exactly, you left for two months. And you didn't leave her a note or nothing. She didn't know that you had told Dumbledore that you'd go when you left. You left her alone in your apartment… she found out by holding Peter by the neck up against the wall until he cracked. "

"I sent her a letter about it" James shot in defensively.

"Lily lives in a muggle neighbourhood." Remus said factly.

"So?" James asked dumbly.

"She doesn't want to stand out so she has all her owl mail delivered to a postoffice that sends her mail back to her via muggle postman. So it takes a few days for her to receive her wizarding mail." Remus told him.

James was dumbfounded but managed to ask "And was she mad?"

"Yes, back then she was rather mad. And since you weren't there to yell at, she used the rest of us."

The only thing James could come up with was a small "Ah,"

"But," Remus continued, "That anger faded, and she started to miss you."

"Really?" James' face lit up.

"Yes, and you know, she cried a lot. She didn't tell us but we knew… and that night she and Sirius drank a bit… and you know. James, seriously, you know both of them; they would never do anything behind your back."

"But,-"

"No buts James, you know this." Remus said firmly, a moment went by in silence and finally James nodded, closing his eyes, admitting that his friend was right.

"Did you know she's pregnant?" He asked Remus, with his eyes still closed.

He knew the answer to the question even though Remus remained silent and let out a small chuckle, "Figures…"

Saying so he spun out of the bed and continued "C'mon let's go."

Remus looked up at James with a bewildered look on his face. "Err, all right."

James quickly grabbed his belongings and various treats and 'Get better' cards he'd received from the current students at the school. It seemed he was still a legend at Hogwarts.

They strolled down the white grounds of Hogwarts in the direction of Hogsmeade.

"Why is it always you that bangs my head in the right direction?" James asked Remus, gently knocking his shoulder with his own and quickly added flashing a smile "No pun intended."

"Well, someone has to, right?" He replied with a shrug "That's like my role in the group."

"Yeah? What's mine?"

"Being the one that acts like an arse most of the time… but who in the end everyone can't help but love."

"Aw… that is so sweet!" James said in a fake high pitched voice as he pinched Remus' cheek and shook it slightly.

"I'd watch it if I were you…" Remus merely answered calmly as James let go.

"And why is that, sire?" James answered in a mock voice and gave a deep bend.

"Because I'm a wolf." It was now Remus' turn to flash a smile, showing his sharp teeth that reminded of fangs.

"Ooh, I'm so afraid of the big baddy wolf." James said in a girly voice and started to run, shortly followed by Remus.

When the pair arrived in Hogsmeade, Remus lifted up his wand and in seconds the Knight Bus came.

"Where to?" The driver asked as they entered the bus, Remus turned to James, waiting for him to answer.

"We're going to-?" He hinted.

"-to Lily's house, yes." James nodded looking out the window as he took a seat in the middle of the bus.

Remus told the driver the address and sat down beside his friend.

A smile appeared on Remus' face "And there you will…?" he enquired.

"Remus my darling," James put his arm around his friend's shoulder, "they don't call me James Potter just because it's my name" saying so he ran his other hand through his hair and adjusted his glasses before saying.

"-I'm going to win Lily back."

"Wow." Remus replied dryly.

"Yes I know," James said very coolly, not catching the irony.

"No, I didn't say 'Wow' in admiration… I meant 'Wow that must be the dumbest thing I've ever heard' '-They don't call me James Potter just because it's my name.-' Seriously James you can do better than that." Remus barely breathed out, now having fits of laughter and James quickly joined him.

"I guess you're right." He said after a while,

"As always," He nodded towards him and received a nod and a smile back.

"-But bottom line is I'm going to win her back."

The Knight Bus stopped suddenly.

Remus smiled "I like that plan," but the smile faded quickly as his eyes wandered to the front of the bus. "Although that could be a slight problem."

"Huh?" James who had been looking very intently at an old sleeping man sitting by the table behind theirs, wondering whether he really was asleep or if he had to alert the driver, turned his head to face Remus whose eyes still were fixed to the front of the Knight Bus, James followed his gaze and realized what he meant.

"I see your point." He said quietly.

The bus was dead silent for a second until a well-known voice filled the air from one of the four hooded beings who'd entered the bus.

The voice greeted James smugly "Hello again mister Potter."

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_Dundundun... who might that voice belong to? REVIEW to find out..._

_-BK_


	12. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: You know the drill..._

_Read, Review and hang on the edge of you seats for the next chapter._

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The hooded being took a few steps in direction of where James and Remus were sitting. "Long time, no see," The voice came again and sent an awful shiver down James' spine. "I trust that you have been well." A sarcastic tedium filled the air.

James didn't bother to answer; instead he rose from his seat, promptly followed by Remus.

"Oh yes, the werewolf… I thought I smelled something..." The voice continued with a significant boredom, making the rest of his group laugh hoarsely.

"What do you want?" James' voice was stern and yet at the same time weak.

"Oh, just wanted to catch up with you." He answered ironically again.

"Do you use sarcasm as a defense mechanism because of your poor, sad upbringing?" James asked swiftly as he took a few steps forward.

When the man didn't answer James continued

"You know, how your father disowned you, the fact that your mother died when you were a baby so you were raised at an orphanage, how you had no family-"

"You be quiet boy!" The man hissed.

"Did I touch a weak spot?-" James now asked the man in a mock tone,"-Apparently I did." He smirked.

But not for long, all of the sudden a blue lightning shot in James direction and now everything went by in slow motion before his eyes.

The blue lighting moved closer and closer towards his chest, he felt someone on his left pushing him sideways and as he fell James looked the pusher square in the eye.

The pusher.

His friend.

Remus.

They held eye contact for a split second and as James felt his body hit the hard floor of the bus, he watched as the lighting hit Remus hard right in the heart.

Soon he was down on the floor as well, not moving.

James stared at his friend's limp body in disbelief, though he heard the other three figures laugh coldly he paid no attention to them. Soon the laughter turned into a dead stillness. The silence was broken by Voldemort,

"Get up." He spat out.

When James did not he raised his wand yet again and muttered "Crucio."

Unbelievable pain ran through James' body, his screams echoing through out the bus.

He landed feebly on the floor stumbling slightly, with his eyes shut.

"You killed 7 of my companions." Voldemort spoke rather dully, one of his followers hissing and another seemed to sniff quietly but Voldemort showed no indication of remorse and continued talking.

James' mind drifted back to the painful and awful night. After he'd been tortured for quite some time other Aurors finally came to their rescue and a fight soon emerged. He couldn't remember much but Voldemort had a point, he'd lost his mind and quickly there were a lot of bodies surrounding him.

Voldemort did not seem to notice how James had not been listening to what he'd been saying and finished saying,

"You are to join me."

James snapped his head up and asked as though he had not heard him "What?"

"You are to join me. You show an excellent skill in the act of murdering." Voldemort spoke again almost snakelike.

James could not help but laughing loudly, "_Murdering_? _That_ will never happen. You can be sure of that."

Voldemort considered him for a moment before raising wand less hand and muttering "Bellatrix, bring in the girl."

_----- __In a galaxy far, far away__ -----_

_Lily's apartment, an hour earlier._

"Sirius! Where is all the rapping paper I bought?" Lily called out, sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded by gifts, ribbons, blank cards and tape. The only thing missing was the damn rapping paper.

She heard a hesitating sound come from the bathroom, "Sirius? What are you doing in there?" She asked; know having gotten up and knocking eagerly on the door.

"Well-" Came from the other side of the door, "-it seems as though I have gift rapped your entire bathroom."

"What?" A confused Lily asked.

"Like I said, I used your rapping paper to gift rap you bathroom."

"You used _all_ of it?"

"I sure did." Sirius said proudly opening the door with an arrogant grin.

"I had six rolls of 7 foot long rapping paper, are you telling me that you used every single bit of it?"

"Well… there's some left, you know, some chunks I cut off and stuff…"

Lily sighed dreadfully and muttered something about needing a drink.

"Lily!" Sirius bellowed sourly, "You haven't even seen it! Plus, you don't want to go through the same jumble you did the last time you got drunk during you pregnancy. Remember you said it hurt like hell."

Lily had gone straight to Annabelle Potter the morning after the little scene to tell her that her son was back and safe and to get help from the Healer, she had been feeling lousy for weeks and couldn't hold anything down. That was when she found out that she was pregnant and thankfully Annabelle gave her a potion that would insure the baby's safety and drain her body from all alcohol. The side effects on the other hand were massive headaches, back pains and cramps. Something Lily would just call plain, simple Karma.

She rubbed her temple with her index finger and said "Don't remind me."

Sirius clapped her softly on the back, led her over to the sofa and asked her if she wanted him to rub her feet.

Lily smiled enthusiastically and said "Yes, please."

"Sit down then" he motioned and smiled back at her.

As they sat there in the sofa enjoying the silence for half an hour, Lily kept asking her self why it was always Sirius who took care of her, who offered to rub her feet, who played with her daughter when she did not have the energy to, who rapped her bathroom in rapping paper. At that last thought Lily giggled startling Sirius.

"What?"

"Nothing," She shook her head and smiled at him.

"All right" He smirked back at her and glanced over at the clock hanging on the opposite wall. "Half past eight." He muttered, "Shall we go get Anna from you parents'?"

"Would you mind going by yourself for me? I'm just feeling really awful tonight." Lily asked him, pouting.

"No, not at all." He shook his head, "Do you need anything? Shall I make you some tea before I leave?"

"No, I'm fine thanks."

"All right." Sirius stood up, kissed her on the forehead and said quietly "I'll buy some more wrapping paper on the way."

She laughed and said a word of thanks as he walked towards the front door.

He winked at her just as he closed the door after him.

Lily stood up and sat down in the same eat she'd sat in earlier that evening and continued writing Christmas cards. She did not know how long she sat there but as she sat humming Christmas tunes all the lights in the apartment were all of the sudden turned off.

"Wha-" Lily didn't get to finish as she heard a rough voice yell out.

"Seize her! Seize the Mudblood!"

She felt hands grab her and a heavy object stricken in her head making her lose conscience.

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_So, both this and the last chapter were quite short, yet I still couldn't patch them up together to make one long, juicy chapter. I enjoy writing cliffhangers as you may have noticed. That's really the only reason for the super quick update._

_If you want another quick update, bump the reviews well past thirty and the next chapter will roll in soon._

_-BK_


	13. Chapter 13

_Disclaimer: You know the drill..._

_Thanks for the reviews by the by, it's nice to hear that my story is appreciated! On with it then!_

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The woman named Bellatrix snickered in a way that made James want to vomit and disapparated out of the bus. She shortly returned clasping an unconscious Lily in her arms and threw her on the floor. Voldemort gestured with his hand towards Bellatrix with a dull expression on his so called face. The woman then conjured a bucket of water and threw it over Lily so she regained consciousness.

James threw himself next to her and grabbed her shivering body. Wiping the water from her eyes she stuttered, "What's going on?" Realizing that it was James holding her she yelled "James! Oh god! What's going o-"

She was cut short by Voldemort, "I shall tell you what is going on," He scoffed and looked at her with a clear sign of disgust, "I will now use the Cruciatus curse on you until your darling James here," He kicked him in the back, "decides you've had enough and joins me."

Lily had simply stared at him as he spoke with an even more disgusted expression than he'd shown before.

James was about to retort when Voldemort hissed "Crucio" and directed his wand at Lily, James watched as her body got locked in an unearthly like form and shook violently. The expression on her normally beautiful face made him want to bawl like a little baby.

"Stop it!" He shouted, only egging Voldemort on, his face twisted into psychotic glare.

"STOP IT!" James roared, attacking him.

He and Voldemort fell onto the floor, Voldemort dropped his wand and at the same time the curse broke. Before any of the Death Eaters could move a muscle Lily had grabbed the wand and now stunning the three of them.

James lay on top of Voldemort with his hands clutched so tightly around his neck that James' fingers were starting to feel numb.

Lily pointed the wand to Voldemort's temple and told James slowly to let go of him, drops of sweat running down her forehead.

He was about to protest but Lily hissed "Now."

She glared at Voldemort as James slowly loosened his grip around his throat.

Voldemort was the first to speak, "Ah, pity. You would've been a good pureblooded Death Eater with your skills."

Lily spat at his face. "You disgust me."

"You," she continued, addressing James. "Have you got it?"

"What?" James asked her not knowing what she meant.

"That _thing_ you and Sirius always carry around with you." She answered stiffly, her eyes locked on Voldemort.

Realizing what she meant he gave her a short 'Yes.'

"Go to the back of the bus and contact Sirius, tell him what's going on and tell him to get assistance."

James looked at her in awe, not used to her acting like this but did as she told him and went to the other end of the bus.

Voldemort gave a smirk and said "Do you remember our last meeting? How your poor little friend here failed to save you, how-"

He reached his hand, in mid sentence, out to touch her cheek but Lily slapped it away.

What she hadn't realized was that as she smacked his hand away he'd quickly moved his other hand and seized his wand, he pushed her aside, stood up and laughed.

"Do you seriously think that a teensy weensy Mudblood such as yourself can stop Lord Voldemort?" His eyes stood in flame as he kicked her in the stomach.

"'Till next time Ms. Evans." He gave her a bow in a mock way and apparated away.

James had heard the thump when Voldemort kicked her and ran as fast as he could towards them and watched in horror as Voldemort disappeared and as Lily held her hands around her stomach, trembling, whimpering.

"Lily!" He dropped down on his knees next to her, "Lily," He held up her face, which was tear-struck and whispered in her ear soothingly, "Shh, you did well. Everything's all right now. Sirius let the Order know. We'll be rescued in a few minutes." He stroked the tears away and kissed her softly on the forehead.

"I… I just. I can't feel a thing, James. My body's gone numb." She cried out and buried her face into his chest.

"It's from the Cruciatus curse… you will be all right. I'm very proud of you, you know? You didn't make one sound. Unlike me, I bawled like a little baby."

She gave a small, muffled chuckle and then started crying again, but stopped suddenly and looked up at James, holding up her blood drained hand.

"Where are you bleeding?" James shouted

He then looked down to her body and saw a big stain of blood getting larger by the second in the crotch of Lily's trousers.

Lily looked down at her stomach and then back up at him,

"What if he harmed the baby? When he tortured me or when he kicked me? James, I need to know if the baby's all right!"

He looked at her, his face turning pale as well. What if she was right? What if he had killed the baby?

"The baby's fine. I know it is." He felt an arrow of guilt hit him, he didn't know. He had no idea whether or not the baby was all right. He rocked her back and forth and gazed around the bus, he hadn't noticed when the other passengers had been stunned. The pebble of guilt had now changed into a rock of guilt in his stomach, he felt bad over having caused several peoples lives in danger.

His eyes wandered and landed on Remus' limp body. Was Remus all right? He hadn't had time to see if he was even breathing.

Tears started filling his eyes.

"I'll never forgive myself if you're not all right." He whispered staring at him, tears silently streaming down his face at this point.

James looked down again and saw that Lily had fallen asleep in his arms, letting out a deep breath he laid down on his back, still holding Lily tightly in his arms, staring up at the ceiling.

After a minute or two he heard the deep voice of his colleague, Kingsley Shacklebolt, followed by many different familiar voices, knowing one of them belonged to his friend Sirius, but he didn't care.

He was simply too exhausted to care at this point.

He'd battled to stay awake until help came.

He closed his eyes and felt someone kneeling down beside him and shaking him.

But he was so tired, could they not understand that?

He heard someone shouting something into his ear before he gave in to the darkness.

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_Another short one I know, but the next one should be up tomorrow because of that. I'm on a roll now, thank god! Wow we're getting closer to the end can you believe it? ALTHOUGH there are lots of things that are still about to happen. _

_**REVIEW** and you might just get to see what those things are..._

_-BK_

_P.S. someone said something about Sirius/Lily relationship in the story... at this moments they're just best friends but who knows what might happen later... you must **read&review** to find that one out._


	14. Chapter 14

_Disclaimer: You know the drill!_

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As he slowly woke up, James felt something tug on his hair. Hard.

"Ow!" He grunted and squinted his eyes towards the tugger.

Realizing that he was not wearing his glasses, James searched with his left hand until he landed on the nightstand next to the bed he was supposedly lying in and rather quickly grabbed his glasses. Putting them on and focusing he saw a little girl sitting on the bed beside him, highly interested in what he was doing, with a slash of saliva running down from the corner of her mouth.

Chuckling heartedly James poked her lightly in the stomach, "Hello." He did so a few times, making the child laugh uncontrollably.

All of the sudden it seemed as though Anna lost her balance and was sliding of the bed, back first.

James quickly dove and grabbed her just as she was about to hit the floor. Pulling her up towards him he said to her quietly, "See, Daddy's still got it. No wonder I was Quidditch Captain." He winked at her and noticed her big glossy eyes.

She stared up at him, her bright green eyes glazed over with tears and still in shock from the fall.

"Hey, you're okay! No need to cry!" He tried to tell her encouragingly but her expression remained the same.

Pondering for a second what to do next, he lifted her up and threw her slightly up in the air.

This only seemed to make matters worse and soon the baby was bawling its eyes out.

"No, no, no! Don't cry! I was just trying to make- Don't cry! Shhh" He tried, looking in panic at his daughter, holding her up in front of him.

Settling her down on his lap James tried rocking her back and forth, which soon made her stop crying.

"Well done, darling." A female voice came from the door.

"Mum," James acknowledged bewildered, "What are you doing here?"

"James darling, this is my house." She smiled at her son fondly and made her way towards the bed.

James glanced around the room, his mother was right. He was in his old bedroom, old posters and various pictures of him and his friends hung spread over all four walls. Old teddy bears, Quidditch gear and other various things also laid spread over the floor.

As he glanced over to the nightstand on his left and noticed a picture of him and Lily, taken over the Easter break Lily had spent with the Potters during their seventh year, on the far right you could see Sirius leaping in their direction to be in the picture as well.

James had always been very fond of that picture.

Smiling, he turned towards his mother, who was now sitting on his bed next to him.

"I see you've met Anna." Annabelle Potter nodded towards the baby in his arms who was now fast asleep.

"She always keeps falling asleep when I hold her. Does that mean something?" He asked his mother a little nervously.

She laughed and placed a hand on his arm, "You're doing very well." She told him, got up and headed for the door.

Before walking out she asked him "Would you like for me to take her?"

James smiled up at her and shook his head no.

Giving him one last smile, she gave him a small wink and disappeared through the door.

Sighing deeply, James laid back down in the bed on his side, holding Anna in his arms and moved her so she laid on her side, facing him and held her close to his body before he soon drifted back asleep.

His mother, Annabelle, came in to check on them a few minutes later and found them sleeping soundly. She walked over to the bed and very carefully picked up the sleeping toddler. When she did so, James shifted slightly in his sleep and mumbled something inaudible. Smiling sweetly at her son she bent down and kissed er son on the forehead and then proceeded to make her way out of the bedroom, closing the door softly behind her.

----------------------

The next day, James woke up startled, breathing heavily and with little pearls of sweat glistening on his forehead.

"Lily!" He breathed out, sitting up. What time was it? What day was it? What was going on? What -…

Putting on his glasses and running a shaking hand through his, messy and rather dirty hair he made a slight disgusted face before realizing to his horror what had happened.

'Where is Lily? Anna? Remus? What the fuck is going on?!' The voice in his head roared.

James jumped out of the bed, only to fall back down, with an aching through his body. He winced as he slowly stood up for the second time, after having taken a few deep breaths, the same agonizing feeling came running through his body.

Making his way out of the room, through the long hall where he walked past no less then 13 doors leading to various bedrooms and down the staircase, he could not help but panic.

Repulsive things ran through his mind with every step he took, the idea of someone close to him dying made James tear up. Running a hand through his hair again absentmindedly he quickly withdrew it as he felt the layer of dirt in it and made a face.

As he neared the kitchen, he heard the deep feminine voice of his mother,

"Yes, Sirius is at Mungo's as we speak, he and Peter are taking turns in sitting beside Lily and Remus, Lily's mum was there too but Petunia was apparently in labor and insisted on her mother being there so she …"

Peeking in through the doorway he saw that her back was turned to him and she was talking on the telephone. 'When did she get one of those?' James thought to himself but shook the thought away almost immediately gave a slight cough to announce his presence.

Annabelle turned around and smiled at her son lovingly, before returning back to her conversation,

"Oh darling, James is up and about again. Yes, I'll tell him that. All right, darling. We'll see you at dinner, yes goodbye dear."

Hanging up she held out her arms and gave James a tight hug, "Are you hungry darling? Thirsty? Still tired perhaps?" She let him go and motioned for him to sit down at the table.

"I think the correct word would be confused, what's going on mum?"

James stared into his mum's hazel eyes and there they sat for a few minutes in silence,

"Darling, we don't know everything that happened, you and Remus have both been unconscious for the past three days, except for when you woke up for about a half an hour. The only thing we know is that there were three people severely injured and eight others stunned. Lily and Remus are both at Mungo's, both still unconscious."

"Are they all right?"

"Well, they're keeping Lily asleep on account of the baby and they're not so sure about Remus. Voldemort threw a nasty curse at him and they don't know what it was or how to cure him."

James stared down at the wooden table, where there lay both old and new copies of the Prophet, headlines and striking pictures giving him a headache.

Looking back up he met his mother's eyes and there they sat for a moment in silence.

"Where's Anna?" James broke it.

"She's taking a nap in her room. Come on, I'll take you to her."

Annabelle stood up and was quickly followed by her son. They walked through the corridor to a room three doors away from James'. She slowly opened the door in attempt to not wake the sleeping child but when they got in they saw Anna sitting upright in her bed mumbling something inaudible to her teddy.

When the little girl noticed the pair she shrieked with delight and threw her hands up in the air to get one of them to pick her up.

James smiled at the sight of his beautiful daughter's toothless smile and bent down to pick her up.

Once in his arms she put her arms around his neck and curled her face in the nape of his neck.

"I want to take her to go and see Lily." He said looking at his mother,

"Of course you do darling, but you're not going anywhere until you've showered." She smiled at him and gave a soft pat on the shoulder.

"Oh yeah, right." He chuckled and handed Anna over to his mother.

"I'll give her something to eat while you wash." She said and left the room.

James stood for a minute gazing around the room. On the wall above the tiny bed there hung a picture of Lily and James, taken in their seventh year during the Yule ball, both dressed up in disastrous outfits, with horrible hair and big smiles on their faces. They had burned their copies of the photographs together but James' mother had insisted on saving a copy.

When James had gotten out of the shower, dressed and failed in attempt to calm his hair, he went down to the kitchen where his mother and daughter sat waiting for him.

They decided that Annabelle would apparate and James would floo there with Anna.

-----

Once they arrived they were greeted by various Healers who offered their condolences to James and his daughter.

He felt a small thump in his throat growing bigger and bigger with every person who came up to him. Had Lily gotten worse?

When the three of them got to the floor Lily was on Sirius rushed up to them and embraced James tightly and gave Annabelle a kiss on the cheek. He then took Anna, who had been waving her hands desperately out to him, in his arms.

"Things aren't looking so good for the baby." He said gravely "They haven't felt a stable heartbeat for hours… it's always growing rapid and then it slows down and almost stops. They've tried nearly everything, but since Lily is still unconscious. They can't work out what's wrong."

The lump in James' throat now felt the size of a tennis ball

"But you said that they were keeping her asleep." He turned to his mother who opened her mouth to answer but Sirius beat her to it.

"They were, but now she won't wake up."

James now felt like vomiting. "What about Remus?"

Sirius simply lowered his head with a small sigh. When he lifted his head up again he looked James in the eyes and slowly shook his head.

They stood there for a few minutes in silence before Annabelle asked "Do you want to see her?"

James turned his head to her with an unreadable expression on his face and she took his hand and led him to the door of Lily's room.

She opened the door for him and then returned to where Sirius stood with Anna in his arms.

Lily's room was large and white, the marble floor and high walls made it seem cold in a way. There were three beds, two empty and Lily's at the end of the room next to the window.

As James walked slowly to her, he felt a rush of pain in his heart with every step.

Soon he found himself stand at the foot of her bed, looking down at a person he almost couldn't recognize.

Lily's skin was as pale as the sheets that covered her, her red hair had lost the fire it once had had and now it just lay there on the pillow.

He sat down by her side and took her hand with his… it felt cold; she seemed dead in a way.

Tears stung James' eyes as he let slowly go of her hand and touched her stomach with his own. Although there was no bump yet he could somehow sense that the baby was in there. As he stroked it tenderly and ever so slightly he spoke softly "So you're the one who's causing all this ruckus?"

He then moved so he now lay beside her in the bed, he felt his thoughts slowly leaving his brain and was soon asleep.

_  
-Flashback-_

"_Come on! Keep up will you!" A tall thin teenage boy called out to a much shorter redheaded girl laughing as he did so. The pair was running down the main street in Hogsmeade through a large crowd of witches and wizards. Everyone was apparently on a Christmas-gift shopping high. _

_Sprinting as fast as they could across the icy grounds past the Quidditch field and the Forbidden Forest they quickly got up to the large doors which led to the entrance hall. _

_Panting and trying to gain control of breath, the boy pushed the door open so they could enter the castle._

_This was the last Hogsmeade weekend before Christmas break, that started the following day, and both Lily and James would be going home to stay with their families over Christmas vacation so they wanted to spend their last day together. They had made a deal to buy their Christmas gifts for each other that weekend and give them to each other later that day._

_Sliding her hand into James' Lily gave a slight sigh as the warmth in the castle met her cold face. They made their way to the Room of Requirement in complete silence, almost every student and teacher had gone to Hogsmeade._

_Lily leaned up against the wall as James walked three times past the door to the room with concentrated face. It opened slowly the third time he had walked past it._

_They had been together for nearly three months now and things were going as well as you could expect them to go with the pair. The arguments hadn't stopped but it was as though they were meant for each other, they always had a way of working things out._

_It had come to most people as quite a shock to learn that Lily Evans was going out with her nemesis, the notorious James Potter, but after a week or two the news was as old as yesterdays garbage and people liked the fact that they didn't have to witness Lily's tantrums anymore. _

"_Well milady?" James smiled and handed out his right hand to her as he gave her a small bow, she giggled and grabbed his hand as she bowed to him as well. Taking his arm around her he led her into the room that had shrunk down so there was only room for a small sofa and the tiniest fireplace Lily had ever seen. _

"_Why so small?" She asked James._

"_I think it's cozier," He told her and kissed the top of her head and as he did so he smelt her hair._

"_Why does your hair always smell so nice? Do you use some sort of special enchanted shampoo?" _

"_No, it's merely my natural musk." She answered and laughed at his dumbfounded face._

_Taking a seat on the sofa she clapped her hand down next to her indicating to James to sit down next to her._

_Throwing himself down onto the couch he let out a deep sigh. _

"_I'm so tired!" he said loudly as he snuggled into Lily's sweater._

"_Do you have any idea how hard it was to shop for you?"_

"_Hey, how about for you? At least I told you what I wanted, unlike you."_

"_You only said books! I wasn't going to give you books for Christmas! Alhtough, I think you'll be happy with my gift."_

"_Good," Lily laughed, "I think you'll be satisfied with my gift as well."_

_James murmured something into the sweater she couldn't understand._

"_Sorry?" she asked with her eyes closed while she stroked his hair._

_He lifted himself up and looked at her face for a second before repeating what he had just said._

"_I love you"_

All of the sudden the door burst open, interrupting James' dream, Sirius came in out of breath and bellowed "Remus woke up!"

-------------

_Yes well, this was a long one so the next update won't be up as quickly as the past three have been, just f.y.i._

_BUT if you review I might just speed it up a little, let's get the reviews past forty shall we? greeeeat thanks!_


	15. Chapter 15

_Disclaimer: You know the drill! _

-----------------------

Wordlessly James jumped out of the bed and out of the room, following Sirius across the hallway to the stairway, where they shot up the stairs, taking three steps at a time. Once they got to Remus' floor, which was two floors above Lily's, Sirius flung himself inside the room marked 'Authorized Guests Only' with James on his heels.

Sitting in up in his bed, munching pudding from a plastic cup, Remus looked up and smiled warmly at his friends and gestured them to come with his spoon holding hand, spilling drops of pudding on the floor.

Too stunned at the sight of him, looking completely healthy, the pair hesitated for a moment or two before making their way slowly to his bed.

James sat down in the only chair in the room on Remus' right and Sirius sat very carefully down on the very edge of the bed.

"What crawled up your arse?" Remus asked him amused "Sit down! I'm fine!" He then exclaimed happily before offering "Pudding?"

Sirius and James simply stared at each other for a second before James asked.

"Are you allright, mate?"

"Allright? I'm effing great!" He beamed while scraping the last of the pudding out of the cup, "Do you mind?" He asked Sirius as he handed him the cup and turned over to James.

"What ecaxtly happened after I was cursed? I heard something about Lily being kept unconcious. What's that about?"

James was so distracted looking at Sirius bewildered face, mouthing 'What's on with him?' while throwing the cup casually over his shoulder, that he didn't answer right away. Realising that Remus was waiting for him to answer he cleared his throat slightly, knowing Sirius was curious about it as well, and then proceeded to telling them what had happened on the bus.

"Wow, that's the second time then that the two of you have faced him." Sirius stated when James had finished, "Remember-"

James cut him short "Yes." shifting uncomfortably and changing the subject.

"Remus, did the Healers say anything about the curse that hit you? I didn't hear the incantation only the lightning."

Remus turned his head dully over to James "Nope, they don't know what it was, only that it caused some major internal bleeding, but I can't feel a thing!" He beamed once more.

James stared at him, feeling the knot of guilt inside his stomach turning slowly.

"I'm really sorry that I brought this on you, Remus"

"What? This isn't you fault, James! I brought this on myself, jumping in front of you!" Remus cried out chuckling but quickly added "Which I don't regret of course!" while patting James on his shoulder.

"Marauders forever." This was the first thing Sirius had said in minutes.

James smiled and put his hands on Remus' and Sirius' shoulders and repeated "Marauders forever."

Remus seemed calm at last and nodded at his best friends, before falling sound asleep in a matter of seconds.

Without uttering a single word, James and Sirius slowly stood up and left the room. Right in front of Remus' room there were a few unoccupied chairs in which Sirius and James took a seat. After a few minutes a female Healer walked by,

"Excuse me Miss, have you been treating Remus Lupin?" James asked her suddenly as she walked past him.

Slightly startled she turned around and nodded, smiling at James. Before he could continue Sirius interrupted him.

"Helen?" Sirius then asked her, the Healer turned her gaze on to Sirius

"Sirius Black!" She stated enthusiastically, and walked over to him. for a moment things were quite awkward, she stretched out her hand for a handshake while Sirius lifted his arms and reached in for a hug. Chuckling awkwardly they merely kissed each other on the cheek. For a second there was a silence in the air thick enough to be cut by a knife.

James broke it, "So," quite amused at the sight of his best mate in an awkward position with a girl he decided to milk it "You two know each other then?" he asked, sitting in his seat, smiling up at them.

The girl named Helen looked up at Sirius, for she was quite small, only about 5'3 if James had to guess, and Sirius answered, "James! This is Helen, remember at Hogwarts!"

Right then it hit James, that was Helen! Sirius' girlfriend during three weeks of fourth year, a few one-night-stands in fifth, six weeks in sixth and finally the whole of the first semester in seventh year, including a handfull of shags here and there after Christmas.

Helen's last name was Chang, her father was Chinese so she looked quite Asian, with smooth black hair running down the side of her face, stopping by her hair chin, her haircut was a bob and it suited her round face quite well. Her eyes were a muddy shade of green, but when she smiled you could almost not see her eyes for her big bright grin covered most of her face and she had full round cheeks that were always quite rosey colored. Because of her height, she had a quite thin and slender frame, but she always made it work without resembling a small boy, which she had often been called during their time at Hogwarts though less during the years she and Sirius were intimate, Sirius saw to that.

James was obliged to remember Helen; she was in their year during their education and played Chaser on the Ravenclaw houseteam and was, like James, the captain for the house Quidditch team. She had once led Ravenclaw to victory against Gryffindor and James' friends had never quite let him forget the fact that a girl beat him at something. Inspite of this Gryffindor did win the cup under James' guidence, as James had often pointed out but of course this did not matter.

"Oh yes! Yes of course, Helen!" He got up and gave her a kiss on the cheek "so you're doing the healing thing now?"

"Yeah," She smiled up at him, "I'm halfway done with my third year so I'll be going to Norway next fall and finish my education."

"That must be exciting," James responded. "So you said that you were working on Remus' case…"

"Yes, I've been assisting the Senior Healer on this task. Talk about exciting! We of course had no idea what had exactly happened and his organs were failing like you wouldn't believe, no matter what we did he was crashing constantly and his anatomy is of course a little different from ours because of his-" She hesitated looking around,

"Furry little problem?" James offered and Helen laughed.

"Yes, exactly, because of his furry little problem" She agreed

"But you did manage to fix him?" Sirius shot in concerned.

Helen looked at him thoughtful for a moment before answering "Yes, I believe so. You know a friend of mine who works with me is a muggle-born and she had the idea a few months ago to do the muggle thing and put him down and performed surgery on him."

"Is that why he's acting so odd?"

"He's acting odd?" She asked them alarmed, peeking through the door.

"Yeah," Sirius continued, "He's so cheerful and upbeat, Remus is not even that upbeat when he isn't ill!"

"Oh, that's what you mean. That's just probably the morphine talking."

"Morphine?"

"Yep, another one of my friend's brilliant ideas, it reduces the pain." She explained

Feeling a vibe from Sirius to get the hell away and give them some privacy, James gave small chuckle and then headed for the elevator door, before getting in he turned around and asked Helen,

"Is that friend of yours named Lily Evans?"

Helen flashed him her brilliant grin "Why of course, who else?"

James smiled back at her and got into the elevator.

She added, "I really hope she gets better, James"

He turned around and answered "So do I" and as the elevator door closed in front of him he added, "'Cause I'm gonna marry that girl" and he pressed the button to Lily's floor.

------------------------------

_Sooo, I got my little break here so long time no see! I'm going to try and finish the story by the end of the month, so you can look forward to new and juicy chapters coming up frequently.  
The girl named Helen, I see her as Cho's cousin, or even sister, defenetily not mother... just for you info. AND she's a love interest for Sirius YAY._

_REVIEW IF YOU'RE EXCITED AND WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER UP ASAP_

_-bk_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Diclaimer: You know the drill.**_

_**A warning... this chapter isn't terribly long I'm afraid.  
**_

* * *

As the elevator came to a halt and opened, James released a deep breath he hadn't really realised he had been holding.

He tilted his head and took a few hesitating steps in the direction of Lily's room further down the hall. His head hurt but he paid no attention to it, instead he quickened his pace and felt the blood rushing through his veins.

He knew in his heart how he felt, he knew exactly how he felt. But he didn't know how to make words that would describe the way he felt about Lily. He knew he must do it the right way. Lily had always been a hopeless romantic and secretly wanted her proposer to make some insane gesture that would embarrass him into the afterlife. James knew this because he 'accidentally stumbled' across Lily's diary in fifth year back when she still hated him. She, of course, caught him reading it and cursed his left eyebrow off. But out of the kindness of her heart returned it to him later that day dyed bright yellow, it took James and his friends a few days to get the brow back to its old colour.

He had now reached the door and thought to himself that Lily wasn't necessarily awake yet so he still had some time to figure out how he would do it and what to say.

James clenched the doorhandle and took one last breath before pushing the door open.

To his surprise he and Lily weren't the only ones in the room, James saw the back of the head of an older man, with hair that seemed to have lost its life and was now the shade of very dull orange, sitting beside Lily caressing the back of the hand of her seemingly lifeless body.

When the door shut behind James with a loud thump it startled the man who turned around with a jerk and got to his feet. James now recognised the man standing 10 feet opposite him. He had never met him in person, only seen him from afar once or twice in his Hogwarts years and more recently photographes of him hanging on the walls in Lily's apartment. This was Harold Evans, Lily's father. Lily didn't really look much like her father but it was obvious that she was his daughter when one saw them side by side. James recognised the eyes in particular, they didn't have the same sparkle as Lily's but she definetily had his eyes.

Neither of them spoke immediately, they simply stood there gazing at each other. Mr. Evans was the first to communicate.

"Harold Evans" He held out his hand and James made his way towards him holding out his hand as well.

"James Potter, pleasure to meet you."

Mr. Evans shot him a humorous look, "Likewise. Please, do have a seat." He gestured to the chair on the other side of Lily's bed.

As James sat down the older man chuckled,

"So, you're the infamous James Potter I've heard so much about for the past, well, almost ten years."

James decided to go for the shy card rather than the 'cheeky bastard' card "I suppose." He answered in a fake shy manner.

Mr. Evans eyed him for a moment and then returned his gaze onto Lily.

They remained silent for a few minutes. James could feel the sweat forming in the palms of his hands, was he really this nervous, he wondered.

"Annabelle really does look like you, James." Mr. Evans said without taking his eyes off Lily. He didn't wait for James to respond, instead he continued.

"What are you planning on doing?"

"Sorry?" James asked him bewildered.

"Well, you must have decided something by now. Enough is enough, James. Either stay with my girls or walk away." He had now returned his gaze onto James, the glint of amusment had now disappeared from his eyes.

James was stunned by this and couldn't utter one word.

"Well? " Harold insisted.

Before James could answer Lily's body stirred and both men stared down at her frail body as she slowly opened her eyes.

* * *

**_All right, first of all merry Christmas!  
Second of all, I feel that I have some explaining to do. I really had given up on this story, I didn't find it very flavourful any more and well, just dull. But I got a lot of messages where people asked me to go on with it ,and I have now decided that I will. I have yet to decide how far I'm going to go with it, whether or not it will end with James and Lily dying, we'll just see._**

**_I have an awesome idea for a new story in my head, that I'm very excited about but I better finish my two stories before starting a third one. My second story, Interesting turn of events... , won't be nearly as long as this one so it shouldn't be too long before my newest baby sees the light of day. :)_**

**_Well, leave your comments and reviews please and I'll upload the next chapter soon._**

**_With kind christmasy regards, BK_**


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